Well my blogging friends, I think it is time to close up shop here. I don't have much to say these days beyond what I say on Facebook or Twitter. (please email me if you want that info). I am going to start a PW protected blog on Word Press.
I'm tired of the anti-adoption comments. I get about one a month, which isn't bad, but I still hate reading them. Also the ICWA questions I get are hard to handle. I want to help people, but bottom line is the law is being abused and you need a good attorney and a lot of luck to win a case. I can't really help anyone on that issue more than what I've offered on my blog.
IVF and infertility has been covered by so many bloggers, most of those bloggers are much better writers than me.
Politics I've avoided, but I think I'll go out with a bang on that subject. I'm pretty eclectic when it comes to political views.
I don't know why now is the time, but it just sort of feels like I should wrap this blog up in the next month or so.
So email me if you want to keep following via FB or a new blog. email is in the header.
For the past 6-8 months my Jake has been gone. In his place has been a moody, angry, defiant, sour, mean, pill of a child, with only brief moments of sweet Jake. I haven't posted much about it because it was really bothering me and it felt like I was doing something wrong and I just didn't need blog criticism about it. I can't stress enough how awful he's been. I was embarrassed to take him to friend's places. His attitude was just horrid. He acted mad all the time.
In my heart of hearts I hoped it was a phase. I needed it to be a phase. I felt sick when I'd think about the change in him. Obviously we knew the babies were the main cause and then the move and all the other changes he'd been through in the past 8 months. But it seemed like such a long phase I was really worried and second guessing my parenting skills, my decision making, my .... well everything.
Like a light switch something has changed. It has not been gradual. Over night he changed. I'm not kidding. It's like he woke up a completely different person (his old sweet self). He is doing things the first time he's asked, he's being nice to his brothers, he's helpful, fun, happier! He's his old self! Over freaking night he changed! It's been 5 days of this. Five days of heaven! My life is so much easier, happier! I have energy left over at night. Before he was exhausting me. I couldn't wait for daddy to get home and "take over". It's sad how much he drained me with the constant battles!
I have some fears that still cross my mind about why the sudden switch off of the poor behaviors. But I'm not going to focus on that right now ... I'm having too much fun with my Jakey back!
Our little night at home with the boys rocked. I'm still a tad disappointed in my family for not stepping up and being more involved. My dad did come down the day of their birthday and gave the boys each a $50 gift certificate to a toy store. That was extremely generous and thoughtful. My mom sent them a cake of some sort. It's in the freezer, I had plenty of cake already. I need to check the post office box to see if any cards were sent by hubby' family. Not sure they even know the boys' birthday.
Jake was just beside himself with the idea of cakes and candles. We didn't do any gift opening because they boys didn't need any gifts. I did buy a bunch of balloons. That's sort of a tradition I started with Jake's first birthday. Balloons and kids ... they just go together! They are a hit even after the are flopping on the ground. We let Jake blow the candles' out for the boys and we all sang happy birthday. It was a really nice evening.
My cousin did the cakes. She did a good job. They were guitars for our rockstars! Each cake was a little bit different.
Here are a few pics.
Oh my goodness Wes, you are such an amazing baby boy. You are my jolly good time guy. You look like a classic cherub, round body with blond curls in your hair. Yesterday at the doctor's appointment you weighed 21 pounds 4 ounces and you were 28 1/4" tall. According to the experts that puts you in the 88th percentile for one year olds.
You have four teeth now, two on top, two on bottom. You do enjoy using them. You can be a bit of chewer. Not a biter, just a chewer. I love how you are learning to scrap apples with your teeth. The first month that you had your bottom teeth all you did was run your tongue over them. It was constant and made me laugh ever time. You make me laugh a lot!
You are such a happy baby! You have the most infectious giggle I've ever heard. It is not hard to coax that giggle out of you. Just a slight touch under your chin or on your chest and you break out in gush of giggles which often times turns into a robust laugh. Your laugh is contagious!
You love to feed the dogs and be around the dogs. You stand up against the screen door and giggle and yell at Moose to come see you. You never seem bothered when she cleans your high chair, all around your legs while your still in it. When your full, you start feeding Juanita your left overs. She's probably gained a pound because of you alone!
Boy can you crawl. Daddy thinks you will be walking before Nathan, but I don't know. You seem to enjoy crawling so much. You could win any crawling race I'm sure of it. You are like a little tractor going down the hallway. You've been known to walk into table and chair legs because you put your head down and crawl so fast you never look up. I didn't see it but I'm sure that's how you split your lip and got a bloody nose a few weeks ago. I can rushing into the kitchen because of your cries, and there you sat, blood running down your face onto the floor with you screaming and slapping the blood on the tile so it splattered everywhere. Because you are pretty easy to soothe, you settled right down nearly the moment I picked you up. The ice cold wet paper towels were great fun to suck on and you took your nap with mommy that afternoon.
You love meal time! You like zucchini and meat. Meat is your favorite I think. Your brother won't touch it much, so you get as much as you like. You also like fruit and breads. Like Nathan you like cheese, but meat is still your favorite. You are still nursing about three times a day. You are able to fall asleep without nursing.
Bath time is your favorite. You used to be the timid one in the pool, but now that's changed. You are Poseidon of the bathtub! If I start to run the bathwater, you crawl 100 mph to get to the tub, then you stand along side it, banging the side and screaming in delight. The moment I put you in the water you start splashing, both arms up and down and your howl and growl. It is so adorable! You love to stand up and then sit down really fast, almost fall down on our bottom. This causes poor Nathan great angst as he gets tidal-waved and doused which I do think makes you howl all the more!
You are a bear to get dressed or changed diapers. It's about the only thing you are not a good sport about. You wiggle, squirm, cry, toss turn and generally make it a difficult task. But true to your nature, the moment you are dressed you carry on with a huge smile, exploring the hallways and kitchen. The kitchen is probably your favorite play area. You and your brother love to take all the tupperware out and toss it all over the kitchen. You also have great fun with the drawer containing the plastic bags, wax paper and your new favorite, the crunchy parchment paper. You crawl over it, roll on it, wave it about your head, scream, and then drag it down the hall. Your poor big brother Jake ran through the house yesterday, hit a patch of it and fell down hard. It's aright, he still loves both of his baby brother's and frankly, he's caused both of you more bodily harm!
Everyone loves to talk about your big blue eyes. We can't go anywhere without someone telling us/you how gorgeous your eyes are. I think you get them from daddy's daddy, your grandpa Fred. You certainly look more like me than daddy, but you are built just like daddy. You have my chin and forehead. But your personality is so much like your daddy. Easy going, funny, happy go lucky guy.
You love music! You love to sway and "dance" to music. You like all music but you have your favorites. Ingrid Michaelson's Be Okay is your favorite song and I will always think of you when I hear it. You sway back in forth like a parrot on a perch when that song comes on my itunes. I love to watch you stop whatever you are doing and break out into this smile and swaying trance.
You love to explore and you can make anything a toy. Old toys are new again! Example, the tiny bouncy chair that I took out of the garage to photograph so I could sell it on Craigslist, has become a trampoline for you!
Tonight we will celebrate your birthday with dinner at home and cake. I promise you, I'll always make sure that your birthday is special to you, even if you share it with Nathan. You guys won't have to share birthday cakes unless you want to!
Wesley you'll never know how much I love you and your brothers. You can't imagine how much joy you bring to our lives. Your smile and laugh makes all the sleepless nights disappear. (you do sleep through the night now). It is pure joy to be your mommy and I love you more than I can ever explain! Happy birthday my Wesser! I love you!
You are the tiniest little baby I've ever been around. That's not saying much because I haven't been around lots of babies, but you really are tiny. Yesterday at your doctor's appointment you weighed 17 pounds 8 ounces and you were 27 3/4" tall. According to the experts that puts you around the 22nd percentile. In honor of your birthday you had your first tooth finally come poking through yesterday morning. I can't believe you didn't get a tooth till the day before your first birthday!
You may be small but there is a whole lot of baby in that tiny frame. You look more like your daddy, but your temper and your ability to know what you want I'm sure comes from me. You are not easily distracted or redirected. You are very determined. Not to take anything away from your brothers, but at this stage of development you are extremely smart. Seriously, you are one of the smartest babies I've ever been around. You pick up on things so quickly. We can't dare try to hide something in front of you. Example, putting the TV remote under the covers or pillows, results in your screaming and clawing to get it. We can hand you something else, but it won't do, you'll not give up no matter how many distractions we send your way.
When you watch daddy get ready for work in the morning you wait till he puts his socks and shoes on and then you start to wave at him. You know he's about to leave! You have the cutest little open close hand wave and your face crinkles up in an adorable toothless smile (that little first tooth still isn't' showing yet).
I believe you are going to be walking before Wesley. You love pushing the laundry basket around like an old man pushes a walker down the halls of the hospital. You shuffle behind it grinning like a little mad man. I purchased you a toy that replicates the laundry basket and has more bells and whistles, cause frankly, I needed the laundry basket back.
You like bath time, but mostly I think you like the snuggle time after bath. You are a snuggler! You love to crawl over to mommy and lay your head on my lap. You are still nursing about 3 times a day, sometimes more. You aren't able to fall asleep well without nursing quite yet, which makes a date night for dad and I difficult, but we have the rest of our lives to go on dates, I'm enjoying spending the evening with you and your brothers or we make sure we get home in time for your bedtime.
You are practically a vegetarian. You like to eat, but you prefer veggies over meat most of the time. Unless I cook my carna asada, then you go nuts because I marinate it in lots of lime juice which you like. You love you some cheese! I'm pretty careful about not giving out too much dairy, but you could live on cheese if you needed to doesn't matter what kind or what form, cheese sticks, string cheese, cottage cheese, goat cheese, you love it all. You also love fruit, especially avocado. I think you eat at least a half an avocado 4 days a week. It's good brain food!
You sleep through the night most nights. Your night terrors seem to have vanished, although every once in awhile you have them. You are not a great napper. You probably miss a nap twice a week. Boy there is heck to pay when you don't take a nap. You can be a bear to deal with. Your tantrums are amazing and scary to watch. Your favorite way to tantrum is to wait till my hands are full or I'm super busy and then you throw yourself face first onto the tile floor. You do this from a kneeling position. About twice a month you give yourself a bloody nose. Nothing like a bloody faced baby to get my attention. The bruises around your forehead are lovely too. You really look like you went a few rounds with a MMA fighter! A week before your birthday I took a sweatshirt off over your head and the zipper of it scratched your face. I felt so bad I cried. But it didn't seem to hurt you.
Yesterday when the nurse did a finger prick test to draw blood, you never cried. You seem to have a high pain tolerance, but not a lot of patience. For the record, you totally take after me in that regard.
You and Wesley both love to tear my kitchen apart and I let you do it at least twice a day. I love to watch you guys pull out all the tupperware and then open the drawer that has the tinfoil, plastic bags and parchment paper. Wax paper was great until you discovered how much noise the parchment paper makes. You love to unroll yards of it and then crawl all over it scrunching it up and waving it around over your head.
Tonight we will celebrate your birthday with a nice dinner and your birthday cake. I've decided that just because you are a twin, doesn't mean you can't have your own birthday cake. So unless you tell me you want to share one, you each will always have your own cake.
Happy first birthday sweet Nathan. Thank you for being my son and making me so happy. I love you and your brothers more than you'll ever know. You've made my life so much richer and happier than words can express.
Today the boys had their one year well baby visit. It will also be their last well baby visit. I also will be switching to a new pediatrician. I'm sure our current pediatrician thinks I'm a wacko, but she can think that if she wants. Her out dated research and narrow minded attitude is not what I need or want from a pediatrician.
My sons are not circumcised. I do not believe circumcision is necessary. I think it is ridiculous to do it for cosmetic or social reason. I have read and researched this topic at length. I have also recently read up on caring for uncircumcised penises. In case you are wondering ... you don't do much with them. And you don't let your doctor do anything to them. There is no reason to pull the foreskin back. The pediatrician today started to pull on Nathan's foreskin and I said, "Oh no, we don't pull on that" and I took her hand off my son's penis. I couldn't believe I did it. I was at first scared of what I did and then I was extremely proud of myself for stepping in and protecting my son from someone who should know better. She proceeded to tell me that my son's penis will close off if I don't start pulling his foreskin back. I think she is wrong, and I have the literature and research to prove it. Strike one against her.
Then the subject of vaccinations came up. Yes, I will vaccinate my children. I'm not sure when they will be vaccinated and I'm not sure what they will be vaccinated against at this point. The more I read, the more I'm scared to vaccinate. The research is not bonk, it's not a bunch of hipppy hype. It's really scary what the big pharmaceutical companies are willing to do to hide and or manipulate research. I do believe that vaccinations are good. The question becomes, how much, when and which ones. I'm still working on that. Still reading, learning and trying to figure it out. For now, the babies have never had any vaccinations and they are healthy with fantastic immune systems! Jake has had all his vaccinations and he too is healthy with a great immune system. Her lecture on vaccines, wasn't horrible this time, but it is still a strike against her. Strike 2!
She asked me about their nursing and eating. I explained that we are doing baby led weaning. I explained how it worked and loaned her my book to read up on it. She said, "most babies can't eat that way". I told her I disagreed. She told me she's not just a pediatrician, but she has 3 children. She went on to tell me how her 9 1/2 month old (at the time) choked on a teething biscuit. I asked her to clarify, gagging or choking? I think he was gagging, she said choking, she was there, she was a doctor so I'll have to take her at her word. I asked her if he'd been fed purees? She said "of course" so I gave her my two cents and told her that's probably why he was gagging (or choking) on the teething biscuit. She proceeded to tell me that I'm lucky my children haven't choked. Strike 3 your out!
I had their hemoglobin levels checked. Nathan was border line and Wesley was a little low. I am now reading up on that. It surprises me because Wesley eats way more meat than Nathan. I think the nurse might have mixed up the samples but she swore she didn't. The thing that really irked me is when the nurse said, "Well they do look rather pale". I said, "my very Caucasian infants who never go in the sun are pale". My husband is Norwegian, I'm German/Welsh. Were' lucky their not blue their so white caucasian. Then she asked me if they eat paper and stuff off the floor. Well, yes, they do, like most babies. It was an extremely odd conversation.
I really don't think my babies need check ups when they are perfectly healthy, hitting milestones and not having any issues. I think I'm an intelligent enough person to figure out if there is a problem. I doubt after today's visit that I'll be jumping at the chance to do WBV or to see this pediatrician again.