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This is what happens when Jake escapes from his crib early in the morning. Please note the shoes, changing table pad, diapers, books, etc on the floor. Not to mention the upturned stool in front of the glider, the drawer pulled out of the dresser and turned upside down. And of course there is the guilty, but not too worried look on Jake's face. Urgh!
Finally someone who "gets it"!!!! This comment was from Katrina:
LOL My son is 5 now and still loves to take everything apart and throw things. He is constantly moving, has been a pro at sommersaults since shortly after he was walking. He to loves to be on the top of the couch and use it for a launching pad, tight rope, a way to try and reach the ceiling fan, and etc. People sometimes wonder why we let him,lol they don't understand that it is the way it is. they say he needs a good spanking, they don't understand that you could beat him black and blue and it just wouldn't make a difference. It is how he is, what he does. We have been able to make alternate arrangements sometimes. Like instead of doing a flip off of the arm chair, do flips on the mattress on the floor. He is very musical and coordinated and loves to dance, so we do a lot of this. People use to say he is just a boy, until they really saw him in action for a period of time. Then they are like "wow" and laugh a lot. They use to say that about the things he took apart also. It is normal but more intense and just more than the norm. If he can do something he knows he is not suppose to before we get to him, he will do it and it's worth the consequences, if he figures he can't do it before we reach him he will stop. Like hanging from the dining room chandelier. This is when he was 2 and 3. He no longer tries to swing from it, he is on to bigger and better things. Jacob really hasn't slown any of this stuff down. He does fine at school though, as far as that stuff goes. I am starting to see some of it come out as he settles in, but nowhere near what it is at home. In fact, after school he can be even more intense or crabby from holding back all day. He is a good boy, loves to give hugs and help. This has been a good tool to redirect him. Giving him tasks that will help (or seem like it) that are busy tasks. Also, we play games with bean bag throwing, a bop it helped at your sons age, and rhymes/songs were given activities. Humpty dumpty(we fall over). What drives me crazy the most is the taking apart of everything. Sorry this is way to long. I have to laugh when I read about your Jake though, because it is so like my Jacob.
Two parts that really stand out for me:
People sometimes wonder why we let him,lol they don't understand that it is the way it is. they say he needs a good spanking, they don't understand that you could beat him black and blue and it just wouldn't make a difference.
People use to say he is just a boy, until they really saw him in action for a period of time. Then they are like "wow" and laugh a lot.Yes, Yes & again YES!
I finally fee understood. Thank you Katrina!
The reason we were going to adopt Bubba was because of an incident that took place early Sunday morning, just before 1am. Coyotes dug into the pasture where I keep my sheep and killed 6 sheep. One was actually still alive, but I can't for the life of me figure out how. Details below. One ewe was injured on her left hind leg but it probably isn't life threatening if I can keep her doctored and infection free. She is currently at our home with Frito the goat for a companion. Our home is in the suburbs, we are not allowed to have livestock here, but they are being very quiet and I don't think my neighbors know she is here.
Bubba was adopted because we want him to be a guardian donkey. Donkeys have been known to make great sheep protectors, running off dogs, coyotes and other predators. Unfortunately Bubba doesn't seem to care about dogs entering his paddock so I don't think he's going to care about coyotes. So Bubba is going to go back to his home of 2 years with his other donkey friends.
For those of you interested you can read on about the attack (or the after effects of it). I also have linked a slide show of photos so you can see the ewe's wounds. We have named her "Vet Bill" Here is a photo of Vet Bill without anything gruesome. Following the photo will be the description of the devistation we found Sunday morning at 8am.
**** WARNING ***** GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION TO FOLLOW!!!
You've been warned, don't read further if you can't handle hearing about this stuff.
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When we drove up to the pasture, Jake, Alex & myself, there were tons of crows were in the pasture. Not vultures mind you, just crows so I didn't think much of it. I saw a few of my sheep and Frito walk towards the fence when they saw my truck. Nothing abnormal.
Then out of the corner of my eye I saw the body of one of my two black sheep. I said to Alex, "Is that a dead sheep". Then I realized that there was not only one dead sheep, but many, two, three, four, five dead sheep. We drove into the pasture and saw bodies it seemed everywhere. All of them had been eviscerated, their intestines drug about the pasture. One whose guts where outside her body cavity moved her head. At first I thought I was seeing things, but nope, believe it or not she was still alive. I immediately started calling people I knew who lived near by to come and bring a gun to shoot her and put her out of her misery. One black and white ewe was nearly completely devoured, only her head neck and legs were there. Most of the others had their internal organs eaten.
I went to check on the living and found one with a huge tear in her hind leg and lots of bloody sheep, not their own blood, but red wool from having been brushed by the injured one or a coyote. I did a head count and found that I was still missing one. Alex found her at the far end of the pasture. It was Peyton, the bottle lamb that I had saved. Remember the one that Jake was loving on when he was just 10 months old.
My friends finally made it over and shot the poor ewe that was not quite dead. Thank goodness we could put her out of her misery. Had we not been able to get in touch with my friend it would have been at least 45 minutes before we could have put her out. We would have to have driven the 18 miles home and back. My darling husband and my friends were able to load all the bodies and remove them. The sheep that were alive and unharmed went to my friend's house to stay until we can get the pasture safe for them to return. That means a secure pen for night time.
The injured ewe and Frito our goat came to the house. The vet treated the ewe on Monday morning and I'm still washing her wounds and giving her shots daily. Here is a slide show of her wounds. Warning, these are graphic. She's a tough little gal and she's healing quickly. I wish I would have taken photos of her wound on Monday so you can see how much it has healed in just 2 days. Amazing! They are content here and hopefully my neighbors won't learn about them and they can stay until Monday at least. I really want to keep her out of the dirt and flies out in "general populations". Jake is having a blast with his goat in the backyard.
This year, I'm thankful for technology that lets us do silly things like this! Enjoy!
He's 4-years-old, he's got big ears (which we won't tease him about), big beautiful brown eyes. He was neglected and lost. His name is Bubba. Enjoy his photo.
Here is another story that trumpets the benefits of breastfeeding! Yeah
I have a "spirited child". That's the new term for a boy like mine. I like it, although it does sound very "PC". My daring spirited boy, who I love more than life its self is driving me a bit crazy. Sure I appreciated his intelligence, his tenacity, his love of exploration, his drive, his determination, his curiosity, his boldness, his trust in me and my ability to catch him whenever he jumps. I love the person he is and I don't want to change him. Really I don't wish to change his spirit or his drive, but ... I would like to mold his spirit into something that would make our lives a little less crazy and a little safer.
Our living room is looking very sterile and bare. The pictures above the couch have been removed because Jake crawls onto the back of the couch and pushes them. I was afraid he was going to drop one on his head so they have been removed to the office.
The standing lamp (that I use as a reading lamp) has been removed and is also in the office.
The small side table, yep, that too, has been removed and put in the office. It had corners that were too sharp and when used as Jake's "stage" it looked like a perfect way to slice open a face. Besides with the stage light gone (my standing lamp) the side table looked oddly placed in the room.
The coffee table has also been moved, giving Jake more room to run around and play and not get hurt.
The glass terrarium that was on it has been moved to higher ground.
The other couch has been moved off of the half wall. You see Jake was climbing up the couch and over the half-wall onto the kitchen counter. Not good considering the garbage disposal switch was within his reach.
The huge entertainment wall unit which houses the TV and collectables has been modified. All items, trinkets, books, etc are placed above Jake's reach (which lengthens daily). I originally left a cabinet at the bottom open for him to play in or put things in. But unfortunately Jake spent his time bending it back and leaning on it which was bending the hinges. So now that has been "baby proofed" with the plastic locks and gadgets that fill our lives now. Personally I think they are more adult proof than child proof. They are definitely not Jake proof.
The baby gate blocking off the kitchen is more of a suggestion than a true barricade. He can climb over one brand or reach over on unpop the lever. So we switched to a taller baby gate so that fits oddly with the cabinet toe kicks so he can push that one over.
Oh, the smaller baby did go to good use though, we placed into the fire place entrance. Jake likes climbing into the fireplace and pulling on the flute. Cute smudge marks all over the place after he does that.
Because he is super tough on me and fragile objects, the dogs etc. All hard toys have been removed. The lovely and expensive wood block set we purchased has been removed. He was using the wooden blocks to bang on my knees, the sliding glass door, the glass on the entertainment unit, etc. Now no plastic or wood toys are allowed in the living room. Only stuffed animals, books, blankets and his pop up tent.
All the door knobs have been changed and covered. He figured out how to open the level style handles by 14 months. All doors in the house have been shut.
He learned how to climb in and out of the Pak n Play a few months ago. As of yesterday he can now climb out of his crib. That was the last place I could count on him to just go and relax. Now it is a game to escape. So now I have to baby proof his dresser and figure out how to lock the sliding glass doors on the closet. I also am going to work on getting his bed set up as a toddler bed.
He doesn't sit and play with toys like I notice other kids do. He flings things across the room and then giggles and runs to pick them up and do it again. He won't sit still for me to read a book, I have to read to him while he takes a bath.
We can't leave anything within six inches of the edge of the kitchen counter or it is swept away by the Jake wave.
When you ask him "where's my nose?" He proceeds to rip it off my face. He also likes to pull hair, rip clips or head bands off. He bends my finger nails backward if I'm not paying attention. He claws my face when he is angry and hit me.
But he's not a bad kid, just a spirited child. He also loves to hug me or daddy or the dogs and say "Aaahh" while doing so. When he spills something or drops something he'll says, "Oh mom" In the cutest tone possible. He says "danks" for Thank you whenever you give him something, even after you give him a hug. He gives awesome kisses, no slobber just perfect lean in kisses. He claps when we praise him for something he has done or when he listens to us and we make a big deal out of it. He goes right to sleep at night and sleeps 11-13 hours. He eats pretty well and doesn't throw any more food than other toddlers. He has the cutest giggle and laugh ever. He loves music, especially classical and opera. Luciano Pavarotti, Andrea Bocelli, Placido Domingo, Paul Potts and a few others. He seems to calm down when he hears the music. He loves playing outside, especially with the goat and sheep. He can entertain himself for hours out there. He isn't shy around new people, maybe a bit quiet sometimes, but not shy. He recognizes people that he only sees once a month and gets excited to catch up to them. He's quite the charmer. He's also good when we go shopping at the super market. He's a good boy, just a very spirited child.
Anyone else have a spirited child or suggestions on how to handle this one! LOL Or even just a shoulder to cry on. Days like today are tough because I feel like all I do is say no. I don't want to be a mean mommy or a "no mommy". I want to be the easy going mommy. The one everyone knows what is expected of, but can have fun around. Is that possible?
A big huge congrats go out to my Cyber buddy L. She just gave birth last night to a healthy baby boy! This unexpected gift came after 22 years of marriage and no pregnancies! She adopted a daughter (who was 6 at the time), now she is a 15-year-old big sister of a newborn!
Oh and L didn't find out she was pregnant until she was about 5 months along! WOW!!
I can't believe people are still reading and commenting on my blog. I guess the topic of Adoption brings out strong emotions in people. Adoption is not going to be the center point of our life. That was one thing I said before I started the adoption process and one thing Jake's birth mom asked of us. She specifically wanted us to raise him as a child, not an adopted child. We are all born in different circumstances.
Maggie's comment in the last post suggested that adoptive parents are better parents. Nope, we are just parents. I think the struggle to become a parent makes us appreciate our children more than someone who accidently gets pregnant but not always. I think those of us who really want children, really strive to do things right and be good parents, are better parents than those people who just go through the motions. But adoption doesn't make us better parents. Wanting to be better parents makes us better parents.
In other news, Jake's birth parents are getting married on Nov 17th in Hawaii. I'm excited for them. I'm concerned a bit about the way they are going about things, but I'm happy they are happy. I will probably blog about this more in the next couple of days.
I'm so very tired of reading blogs or forums or receiving emails from people who slam me or other adoptive parents because we adopted. Equally, I'm upset and disgusted with the crowd that considers us wonderful people for adopting. We are not wonderful people because we adopted. We are parents, nothing less, nothing more.
Nearly everyone has an opinion on adoption and most will give you their opinion when they find out you adopted. Most people only have one strong opinion about it. I actually have many opinions about it, many strong opinions. I don't think it is a horrible act of abandonment or theft. Nor do I think it is a perfect mutually beneficial relationship. Adoption really shouldn't be about birth parents or adoptive parents, its about the child. The child who hopefully understands that the decisions made by adults are not a reflection of who they are.
Wanting to be a parent is truly a selfish desire. Ironic, because being a parent is the most unselfish role you will ever play in life.
Sorry for the rant, I just got stirred up over a conversation yesterday and I had to vent.
