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.... falling from the sky! He sky dived this morning. He is crazy these days! It was fun to go watch him and to take a few pics.
Including his fall, his land and his after jump high! Please note the lady behind him laughing at his silly antics!
We make Jake eat healthy and we provide him with extra curricular activities like playing the guitar! LOL
Time flies when you are having fun. Jake turned 21 months today. I can't hardly believe it. The language explosion has officially hit in the past week. His new words for this week are, "Lie Down" (to the dogs) "Bye", "Oh Man", "ball", "bar". Some times he'll also repeat words you say but I don't include those as his vocabulary, because they are basically one off words. Example the other night Alex said, "Lambeau" as in Lambeau Field and Jake repeated "Lambeau" crystal clear. So funny!
It is such a joy to watch his personality change and grow. He doesn't know how funny he is. And I tell you, it takes every ounce of patience in us to not crack up at him when he does things that aren't technically funny. The other day I made him a sandwich for lunch. After he picked at it, not really eating, I asked, "Jake, are you going to eat your sandwich"? He looked down at it and said, "No". Then he pushed the plate towards me. I didn't say anything, just gave him a sort of blank stare. After a moment's pause he said, "Danks" and gave a little head nod. (Danks = thank you). How do you not crack up at something like that.
His latest thing is his hat. He found one of his hats in his dresser drawer and put it on and stared at himself in the mirror. He likes to take it off and on and fix his hair after each time. Hysterical.
Here are a few pics of him and his hat. Which he wears with PJ's, naked, when we go out, etc.
Recently someone who identified himself as "Frank" left a comment asking me why I don't write about Jake's birthmom any more. Firstly, if you leave a comment on my blog with a bogus email, I probably won't leave your comment up or reply to it. I don't need your real name, but it is ridiculous for someone to leave a comment and not leave a correct email. I'm going to make an exception to my rule this time. Jake's birthmom is fine. Her and his birthfather did get married in November. I'm very happy for them and I hope they have a long and happy marriage. Beyond that I'm not going to comment. Why? Because there really isn't anything to add that I think should be in a public forum. She and I have a good relationship and I think that is the most important thing.
I disagree with the theory that, "I want a woman in the White House therefor I'll vote for Hillary". That to me is just fundamentally wrong. You shouldn't vote for Hillary because she is the only female candidate and you want a female President. If you vote for her it should be because you believe in what she will and can do to help the citizens of the United States of American. Same theory for Obama, you shouldn't vote for him just because you want to see a black man as President. If you vote for Obama it should be because you believe in his politics and the policies he believes in.
For me, I'm in the middle here. I'm fiscally more conservative and socially I'm a tad more liberal. I've always considered myself a Republican, but now I don't. At this point I'm very undecided on who will truly guide our country in the direction that it needs to go. I am very much an independent voter and as I sit here today I'm pretty sure I know how I'll vote in the primary but I doubt the person I will vote for will win the nomination. So I'll truly be forced to make a decision later. The primary is the easier part for me.
I want secure borders and harsher penalties on employers who hire illegals. I want illegals out of our country, out of our state and I want them to apply for and receive legal status before they cross the border. And if they screw up even once (in any major way) I want them deported and never allowed back. Being a legal resident or citizen in our country is a privilege not a right. In California the illegal population that is 99% comprised of good, hard working citizens, is draining our health care system and our public school system. Sure these are wonderful people who just want to make a living, but they are a parasite on a host. They mean no harm, but their actions are draining us. Anchor babies are a huge problem here. This bothers me greatly. Schools are built based on the census survey that is taken every ten years. Because most illegals aren't counted in the survey (most don't participate for fear of deportation) the children they produce are not accounted for when the number and size of schools are planned. This over fills are schools and screws up our county and state educational budgets. So for me, as a mom with a child who will attend school in 4 years, yes, this is a big issue. At this point hubby and I are seriously thinking home schooling if we can't afford private school.
I don't believe in government bail out on the home mortgage industry. It is free enterprise and the banks are paying the price for their stupidity and greed. And to the private citizens who made poor decisions, didn't do their due diligence and read their loan docs, well now they are paying the price also. I suppose I have little to no sympathy for folks in this situation because we were nearly in the same situation but we didn't take the bait. We didn't get the house we wanted, the house we were in escrow on for 55 days. But we also didn't get into a loan that would have ruined us. Basically we were promised one rate, one type of loan and we had just gotten married, I had given 30 days notice on the apartment, we packed all our things, were ready to sign loan docs and move our boxes to our new home. We got a Fed Ex Package that was copies of the loan papers we were about to sign, I opened it in the car as we were driving to the escrow office. I started reading the loan docs and we were floored, the docs were not right, everything was correct except the terms. We called the escrow office and asked them if they had the same docs as we did. The agent started reading the terms and I just started crying. It was a bait and switch. We called the loan company but they were full of lies and so we dropped them. The seller of the house wouldn't give us the time to find a new loan (besides it was too much house for us and we really shouldn't qualify). So we regrouped, found a cheaper home and got a really good loan. I had questionable credit when we first married and so we had to really work at finding a good loan and finding out home much home we could afford in order to get a real loan, not a sub prime. My point is, the government can't and shouldn't bail out everyone who makes poor decisions. The Republican in me is calling for less government in our lives, especially on this issue.
Anyone up for some talk about politics? Oh come on be brave!
I have a new game for all of you. Next time you watch a presidential debate every time you hear a candidate says "change" or any form of the word, you drink your favorite beverage. If that beverage happens to be alcoholic I suggest you only watch 10 mins of the debate otherwise you'll be hammered. Because all these candidates seem to throw the word change out a lot!
I am still very much undecided. I have two candidates that I like, one Democrat and one Republican. They are opposite in many ways, but the same in a lot of ways also.
Top three issues that concern me in order of importance:
The Economy - avoiding a looming recession
Immigration - please someone give me their precise plan on this issue.
Health Care - this one scares me
For those of you in caucus states, did you participate or do you intend on participating?
The last thing I wish to do is hurt someone's feelings. Seriously I enjoy the exchanges on this blog. I enjoy the comments, even the ones who don't agree with me. As long as someone is kind in their exchange than it is fine. I don't even mind the heated passionate folks who think I'm crazy. I don't need anyone to believe the way I believe to validate myself. But exchanging thoughts and personal stories is such a wonderful right we have in this country and I love that a silly little blog like mine can create such enthusiasm.
My only regret in writing my rant was the fact that I think some folks took my words and thought they were a personal attack against them and their families and that I thought they were evil bad parents. Not so! I may not agree with someone's parenting practices but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. If you are secure in your parenting, and the choices you make, than my rants shouldn't make you feel bad.
Okay, for now I'm done on this rant. But I just wanted to thank you all for your comments. All the comments, the ones I agree with and the ones I disagree with. I think passionate candor on subjects really gets to the heart of an issue and we learn more. It doesn't change my opinion on this subject, but on other subjects I have been swayed or changed my mind.
So thank you, all of you, for voicing your opinions here. No, you don't have to agree with me or like to read my blog, but for those of you who choose to continue to read, I look forward to hearing more from you. I like exchanging ideas with everyone.
Firstly, YES, I am judgmental. I admit that and I have no problem with that. Obviously some of you are judgmental too because you clearly judge me for having an opinion. I do not begrudge you your opinion. I welcome dialog and look forward to hearing your thoughts. But to assume I'm a nasty or angry person because I have a strong opinion on daycare is just ludicrous to me.
Second, I thought I was clear enough with my post but from the comments I received I guess I wasn't clear enough. I wrote that rant because someone told me last weekend, "You are so lucky you get to stay at home with your son". I replied, "it wasn't luck". She then went on to tell me all the reasons she had to work. They were bogus reasons. She can and you can try to justify your reasons, but I think MANY, NOT ALL, but MANY people do not have to put their kids in daycare. If you have to put your kid in daycare that is a totally different scenario than choosing to put your child in daycare 40 hours or more a week. Who is to say, I might use daycare for Jake for a few hours a week down the road. I have no issues with daycare or baby sitters. I have issues and opinions when people over use it and dump their kids in it because they want things.
Thirdly, I am not an angry person. I was writing a rant! Because it was a rant it needed a little passion behind it. Honestly I don't walk around thinking, "Hmmm, who should I judge today and what should I be angry about today". This subject was written about again because it came up again and it bugs me that people who don't make sacrifices just assume we didn't have to make any.
Fourth, I don't judge via a broad brush stroke. I judged that woman because she came up with bogus reasons for justifying her working full time and putting her kid in daycare. I judge individuals who drop kids at daycare when they don't have to because they don't want to parent those 40 or more hours a week. That drives me nuts. I mean seriously, why have kids if you don't really want to parent full time. If both parents have to work full time to ensure their child is safe and lives in a safe home, well then duh? Both of you have to work. I am not judging your situation. I hope you have a good daycare provider, I hope your kid is happy their and more than anything I hope your life situation changes so that you don't have to keep your kid in daycare full time.
Fifth, I still work. I'm a professional photographer, not a hobby photographer. And while I'm not nearly as busy as I was 2 years ago, I do still work from time to time. Hubby took his vacation time last year around my work schedule. I grouped a bunch of clients to shoot in one week's time and hubby watched Jake. That was one of our sacrifices last year, we forfeited a family vacation for my work. I still shoot on some weekends and days when hubby can watch Jake. I'm thinking about hiring a baby sitter to go with me on shoots and start working a bit more. Why? Because we could use the income, and because I don't want to loose all my clients, I've lost many already. Also, I enjoy my work and I miss it terribly some days.
Sixth, as for the whole "you couldn't get pregnant, that's why you claim you planned things" comment. Give me a break! We were ultra careful about our birth control prior to getting married or buying our home. When we decided to try to get pregnant I went to the OBGN for a full physical and to get on pre-natal vitamins. We did plan, in fact had we not planned, we wouldn't have had the money saved to afford our infertility treatments.
Seventh, I do not believe nor have I ever said that SAHMs are better parents than working moms. All moms are different and people parent in different ways. I don't claim to be a better parent than someone who works full time. But I do think it is a better plan for MOST kids (not all) but most kids to be with their parents instead of daycares.
Part of me will always feel a tad uneasy not contributing to our family income. I know I have a different job now, one that pays into Jake's future and our family's future. On days when I think I need something that we can't afford I just look at my boy and realize he is more important than whatever it was I wanted or thought I needed. We also did get lucky and shortly after we purchased this place hubby's income increased way more than we were prepared for. So we did have luck involved in our life. This luck allows me to have my dog hobby and we can do a few other things, that we would not have been able to do with his old income level. But we didn't plan for the bit of luck and we don't increase our financial obligations based on this. Because hubby's income may not always be the same and we don't want to have payments that we can't afford. So part of our planning is not financing things. We save our money and wait till we can afford something.
Hopefully this will explain the rant a bit better. I would love to continue the conversation, but not with anyone who is going to claim I'm an angry person or an evil person. It really doesn't help a conversation go anywhere. If you are happy with your daycare and the way you have set up your lifestyle for your family, than my little opinion on my little blog shouldn't bother you one bit. Make sense?
Yes, I know I will probably alienate a few readers with my rant, as I did last time I brought this subject up, but you know what, recent discussions among some of my friends have brought these feelings to the surface and I thought I'd bring up again my thoughts on priorities and specifically daycare.
I think day care should be a very last resort. I think parents way over use daycare and give bogus excuses. Firstly, daycare isn't school. It is not school until first grade. You can call it school and you can call the baby sitters who work there teachers, but in reality they aren't teachers. They don't need to have a 4-year-college degree. They don't need to be certified by the state. They are not teachers! They are daycare workers. Any teaching your child gets at daycare you could be doing at home better with more one-on-one attention. Even if you have five kids at home, it is still fewer kids than the day care.
I don't think it is harmful for a kid to attend a daycare facility a few days a week. But to send your kid to daycare 40 or more hours a week, well, that to me is disturbing. Kids don't even go to school that many hours when they are in Kindergarten or first grade. Why would someone assume that a child younger than that could handle that much time in a group environment away from mommy and daddy? Kids in daycare are influenced by the children around them, many times older children who come from homes that use language you would never think of using in your home. I was just reading where someone's 4-year-old came home the other day and said, "That pisses me off". I've heard much worse examples also.
Now, I know there are situations where people have no choice but to put their child in daycare. I feel so bad for those kids. I really do. I also feed bad for the parents who are forced to drop their kids off for 8 or more hours a day. But for those 2 income families who think both parents have to work; I think you are lying to yourself. When hubby and I decided to have children we always discussed me being a full-time-stay-at-home mom or both of us working swing shifts of some kind so that our kid wouldn't have to be in daycare.
This was a financially big move for us because at the time I was making more money than hubby. I was in the six figure range. And yes, I gave up my $100,000+ a year job to be Jake's mommy. We sold our home and we moved to a much cheaper home much farther a way from my husband's work. Sure it is harder on him to drive farther. Sure it is not as much fun being stuck out in an area where none of our friends are. But our priorities were in line. We are parents first! Yes, hubby really wants a bass boat. Yes, I would love to have other things that we can't afford. But I'm at ease and happy because I'm home with my boy and he isn't picking up a bunch of colds or the flu from every sick kid in daycare. Every bruise he has, I know where they came from. I don't have to worry about daycare bullies or him not getting enough to eat at lunch. I know he always has clean diapers on and that he isn't being hit. I know what type of language he is exposed to. I witnessed the first time he noticed an airplane. It was so cool to see him point to the sky and get excited about it. When we go out to the fields and I watch him explore and pick up rocks, my heart just melts. I chuckle every time I do his laundry and I find tons of those rocks in his pockets.
Please don't tell me we are lucky. Because there is so much more to our lifestyle than luck. We worked hard to organize our lives before we tried to get pregnant and then adopt. We made and continue to make sacrifices in order to keep Jake out of daycare. We made this happen. And if we had to go down to a small apartment and no cable tv in order to keep this situation the way it is we would! So for those people who claim they can't afford not to have both parents work ask yourself some tough questions? Do you need all that you have?
And for those people who talk about saving money for your child's college education. You are not fooling anyone with that justification. Firstly I highly doubt your entire pay check goes toward your kid's college fund. Secondly I think you could contribute nicely to a college fund even if you wait till your youngest child is six-years-old in school full time. Then you could work while they are at school and put that money into a college fund.
Kids don't need things, sure they want things. But kids need their parents. They need to spend time with mommy and daddy. They need to know what you stand for in life, what you expect of them. What you want for them. Besides when kids really start wanting things, they are old enough where you can work part time and be home when they get home from school. Don't fool yourself or lie to yourself that this is what is best. Unless it REALLY is the only way to survive, don't you think daycare should be a very last resort?
We really need our priorities straight. Our kids and our marriages should be at the top of the list far, far ahead of anything else, especially material things.
Poor daddy, he had to be the one in charge when Jake did the inevitable, crashing into the door jam and split his forehead open. We knew before he turned one, that he would be the type of child that would have many visits to the ER. He's just a very physical, very brave little boy. He is also very strong which led to the mishap. He was trying to push open the sliding glass door that was locked. When pushing it the correct direction didn't work, he turned and faced the other way and began pushing again. He pushed so hard his hands slipped off the glass and he went crashing face first into the corner of the wall where the door slides close to. There is a metal frame around the door jam and it hit him smack dam in the middle of his forehead.
I was gone to the dog trial. When I got back to my cell phone I got the following message from hubby, "Everything is fine, but...." EEK, my mommy hear swelled and I felt terrible for not being there for my boys. The gash isn't very bad, about 1.25 inches. The docs closed it up with the Derma Glue stuff instead of stitches. It sure looks awful to me and I hope the scar isn't that bad.
Here are some pics from tonight.
This is Jake's new expression. It's the "shocked" look, complete with a slight shake of the head. So funny to watch him make this face at the silliest things. We have no idea where he learned it.
Jake is very into books right now. But reading them is on his terms and reading times are very brief. Also, please note the PJ's. These are the same PJ's he wore last Christmas. They were big on him then and a bit small on him now, but they still fit. Pretty awesome getting a full year out of PJ's don't you think. They are Gap size 12 months.
So it's 4:30 am right now. The wind is blowing and the rain is pouring. I'm not up because of that. Nope, I'm up, already showered and getting ready after I post this entry, to leave for a dog trial. The trial is 135 miles away, basically on the Mexican border, but much farther east than Tijuana. The forecast calls for strong winds and heavy rains through Monday.
But I'm going cause I can't wait to run my dog in another trial. Yeah, I know...... I'm a dumb ass. Wish me luck!
PS: Jake and Alex are staying at home, inside, with cable TV, a stocked fridge and each other.
