Away To Me

2009 Tournament of Roses Parade

For those of you that watch the tournament of Roses parade keep an eye out for a pretty gray horse! My grandma is currently in the hospital recovering from her hip surgery repair. This repair took place a few days before Christmas and it was to repair the break in her bone around the new prosthetic hip she had put in a few days before Thanksgiving. Yah, she's had a heck of a time the last 45 days. To top it all, she had her other hip replaced in March! So three hip surgeries in like 9 months!

Anyway, grandma, who is the toughest 79-year-old lady I know has loaned her horse to a family friend to ride in the Rose Parade tomorrow. The horse is a light gray horse and will be ridden by a blonde girl named Katie. The group is called the C.ow.girl Hi.storic.al Fou.ndat.ion. They go #60 in the parade which means they should be making the turn onto Colorado (where the TV stations start filming) around 9:20 - 9:30 am PST. The Cal Poly float goes #57 so that's a pretty good indication that you can get ready to see them. There should be a few bands in between the Cal Poly float and this horse group. 

One of these days I'll do a whole post about my grandma and her many achievements. Frankly she's amazing! I know not being at the parade and being stuck with her hip issues is annoying. The Rose Parade has always been a big deal for us. She took me to the parade the year the Statue of Liberty Torch made it's way along the route. It was amazing to see how large just the torch was. My grandfather was also named the head veterinarian one year. And when we lived in Pasadena, one of our neighbors was the president of the tournament. 

I watch the parade every year. I love it. I love the bands, the floats, everything about it! This year will be extra special.

Prego update - OB appointment.

Friday I will be 30 weeks along. Wow what a thing to type. I can't believe how smoothly and perfectly this pregnancy has gone thus far. I do NOT take that for granted. Today at, 29W5D I had an OB appointment. It was with a sub OB, as my regular OB was on vacation. 

I didn't like this OB one bit. First, she talked about my weight. I was quite pleased to discuss this as I'm quite happy with my weight gain. The bulk of my weight was gained prior to 28 weeks. Which according to one of the Nation's leading obstetricians who specializes in multiples and high order multiples (trips and more) this is ideal. I actually have not gained any weight in the past 2 weeks and lost 1/2 pound during the 2 week interval before then. So frankly I'd like to see myself gain a bit more. 

This twit doc, claimed I needed to watch my weight gain. She looked at my starting weight and then my weight today and said, "well you've gained 33 pounds". I said, well, yes, it's that good?" She said, "no, not good or bad really, but you can certainly slow it down now". I said, really everything I read seems to say that with multiples you should gain quite a bit of weight early on, and even based on my pre-pregnancy weight (being over weight) I'm still right on track. She said, "No we don't want you to get too heavy". And frankly if she'd read my previous weight taken at the appointment 2 weeks earlier, she would have noticed that I haven't gained a thing in the past two weeks and I'd lost a half pound when weighed at the prior appointment (one month ago).

What irks me is I am probably more mobile and move better than 90% of the pregnant ladies carrying singletons at 30 weeks. I feel great! Our sex life is still great, I can still sleep well at night, etc. Sure I get sore if I over do it, but to give you an idea of my day today this is what my morning consisted of (starting at 6:15):

• Got showered, blowed dried hair, make up, dressed
• Got Jake's lunch made, breakfast made.
• Got Jake's hair brushed, teeth brushed, face washed, dressed, etc.
• Had Jake to school by 8:15
• Made it to my doc's appointment (Hour long drive). Had to park way out in the parking lot. 
• Made my appointment on time despite the detour and the parking situation.
• Drove the hour back to our town. 
• Went to the Super market. Shopped for at least half a week's groceries.
• Went to the post office, stood in line for 15 mins to send a certified return receipt letter.
• Took the groceries home, unloaded them.
• Drove to Jake's school to pick him up.

All this by 12:30! Not to shabby I don't think for someone who is measuring at 41cm (full term)!  I guess that's why it double irked me that this doc was criticizing my weight gain, or more appropriately my research on weight gain. I said, "well I have been focusing on protein and making sure I get my ....." before I could finish my sentence she interrupted me and re-stated her claim that I should "Slow it down now".  

Next she went on and said, "okay your RH negative and you are to get your Rhogram shot today". I said, "yes". She said, "I'm also going to run an antibody test to see where your titers are". I said "I've already had that checked and I'm fine, it's in my chart". She said, "well we are going to retest again today". I asked why. She said, because sometimes the baby's blood and the mother's blood mix. Now, I know this is a possibility, but everything I have read says that this is only an issue if you have some sort of trauma to your womb and at time of delivery or if you have been spotting or bleeding. Besides, I was already taking the shot so I have NO idea why she would want me to test for something I'm already taking a shot for. So I asked her. "If I'm already taking the shot and will have another shot after the babies are born if they have positive blood type, why would I need to have my antibodies tested". She said, "to make sure I give you enough". 

I refused the test. I have read about this enough to feel confident in my decision. Needless to say, I offended the doctor and she made it quite clear she was offended by my decision and said, "Well..... I'll be marking your chart that you refused". 

Okay then. 

Then unlike my normal OB who uses her doppler to check the babies' hear beats. This doc said, "I'm going to bring in the u/s machine so we can make sure we are getting the correct heartbeat for the each baby. My OB never has an issue with this using her doppler,  but whatever it gave me a chance to see where the babies are.

The good news is that Lefty is head down! And he is presenting as Baby A. Which is very good news if he remains head down. For the past 8 weeks he has been presenting as my Baby A. Poncho, the little stinker is still breech. But honesty I'm okay with this and I know he has plenty of time to turn yet. Although, according to twit doc, "this is probably how things will remain". I said, really, at 30 weeks they probably won't change?" Again, I don't think she liked being questioned especially after I opted out of the test she wanted to run. So her answer was curt. 

No big deal. She was pleasant when I met her and pleasant when she left the room. The nurse came in, gave me my shot. Funny thing is, I asked the nurse how many CC's she was giving me and she said, "Oh I don't know it's a pre-filled syringe from the manufacturer. It's just a standard dose".  Hmmm, so the doc wanted to run a test on me, a test I'd already taken in the past 3 months, so that she could give me what? A second standard dose of a medicine I'd already agreed to take. Seriously, it makes no sense to me. Really, no sense. I could see if I'd had bleeding or spotting or a fall that might have cause some trauma to my womb. But NOTHING like that has happened.

So there you have it. My morning! LOL

I'm feeling great, hope to have a belly pic up on Friday when I turn 30 weeks. 

Cool

Jake's new most favorite word, "cool". 

This morning while I was preparing his breakfast I turned on the TV to Barney. (Please don't shoot me, having to listen to Barney was punishment enough for me).

Jake: "look mommy owl"

Me: "that is an owl. Very neat."

Jake: "owl, cool"

Me: "yes, that's a cool owl"

Jake: "yep, cool owl".

He is just getting to darn funny! 

Long post about the Christmas Day Drama

I debated long and hard about posting about our Christmas evening. My thought on blogging is this, regardless of password protection or not. (Not in my case). Anything you put on the internet you should assume can be and will be read by anyone. With having said that I realize that what I'm about to write could be read by my MIL and SIL. And you know what I'm okay with it.

I have tried very hard to be good with my MIL. I used to think that the core person was a very good person although sometimes she would say things that come off bad or wrong. I'm guilty of that often so I feel a bit of kinship with her in that regard. My SIL has always been fun and sweet. And although she's irked me a few times I have always liked her. I mean who in our lives that means something to us hasn't irked us, it just goes with having a close relationship. I have always said that my SIL is the type of person who would do anything for anyone. I'm now starting to see different sides of both of these women. And it makes me so sad.

We had some thanksgiving drama. Please refer to this post. I called up my SIL and thought everything was handled. I told her I didn't say what I was accused of saying and apologized for laughing at a statement made by HER mom that upset her. I also said that in the future should she have any issues with me, to just give me a call and save the emails for jokes. The conversation went well, I felt everything was squashed. I noticed shortly after SIL and I spoke ( I had to call her twice - she finally called me back) that MIL started sending me emails again. Could have been coincidence, but I knew it seemed odd to not get any mail from her, then immediately after the phone call get random nice emails. To be blunt, I know they talk about me and discuss things often about us. This was an example of that. 

We arrive at SIL's house on Christmas afternoon. Immediately I got the cold shoulder from the step daughter's boyfriend (the one I was accused of criticizing). Honestly I didn't let it bother me, because I didn't do anything wrong. And he seemed to warm up anyway. Everything was going great until we were about ready to eat dinner. Jake was up near some condiment stuff in the buffet line and he reached for the horseradish. I said, "oh no baby, that's spicy". MIL was right there and explained to him nicely that it was spicy. Then she said, "But you can have a taste". She directed him to take his finger and touch the spoon she was holding out. I said, "oh no, he won't like it". She said, "oh he can just have a taste". I said, "No, I don't want him to try it". She tried again, still pushing the spoon towards him. "I said, really, please don't. She said, "he can just try it". I said, "no, I don't want him to try it, we are trying to get him to be a better eater and to experiment with more foods, I don't want to give him something he's not going to like". She said, (while still pushing the spoon towards his finger), "how do you know he won't like it?" I said, "well I suppose I don't know". So she encouraged him again and I said, "really, don't, please". And she said, in a louder voice, "just a taste, how do you know he won't like it?" 

This is where I went wrong. You see, up until this point MIL looked like a jerk. Not me. I was handling things well. EVERYONE was around to witness this exchange. But something snapped in me and I got pissed. I got sick of defending my reasons for not wanting my 2 1/2-year-old to try PURE horseradish right before I wanted him to eat a good dinner. So I raised my voice when she interrupted me again with her, "how do you know he won't like it statement" and I said, "Well I think anyone with any reasonable amount of intelligence would realize a 2 1/2-year-old won't like pure horseradish". Yes, I said it and I said it loudly. I was pissed. 

Now I won't make excuses. I was rude. I should not have said what I had said. I could have and should have handled it better. I immediately apologized to my MIL. I said, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it the way it sounded". I put my hand on her shoulder, looked her in the face and apologized again, "really I'm sorry that was rude". I mean I did this the instant the rude remark left my mouth. MIL, not only did she not accept my apology she walked off. I immediately turned to my husband and apologized. He was not happy with me or with MIL. He went outside to deal with her. SIL came over and told me her mom was wrong but that I over reacted. I agreed with her and apologized to her also.

About 10 minutes later hubby calls SIL to come out to the porch to talk with him and MIL. They were out there for a long time. To the point that SIL's husband got upset, called them all inside to finish dinner. I was in NO mood to eat. So I had Jake eat my stuff and then when hubby came back in, he ate what we didn't finish. I moved to the living room to sit and ponder what the heck could have been said. MIL and SIL went about dinner, although I could tell MIL had been crying. I asked hubby what was said. He told me that we could go outside and talk about it or talk about it on the way home. After he got done eating I asked if we could talk about it and he said, "no lets just wait till we leave". I was pissed by this point, wondering why he changed his mind so I said, "well then lets' go NOW". He finally went outside with me and we talked. What I heard did NOT make me happy. 

MIL accused me of trying to keep hubby away from her. She said SIL agreed. They also said that they heard me make the statement that upset SIL at thanksgiving. The statement that I DID NOT MAKE. My MIL MADE IT!!!!!  To be honest, I wish I had been witty enough to come up with the statement. But I can't take credit for it. But evidently in their warped world I said this. MIL also lied about some other things. She basically accused me of being a terrible person. The one thing that makes me most upset is the statement that I'm trying to keep her and her son apart. This just blew my mind. I started balling. Nothing could be further from the truth. NOTHING. I have encouraged him to call when he didn't want to call her. I picked up mother's day cards and birthday cards for her when he forgot. I kept her secrets that she told me about his father because I knew it would make hubby mad at her for telling me things she shouldn't. I have done a lot to not disturb their relationship. Of all the accusations someone could make against me, that could be the worst. 

While I was balling my eyes out trying to figure out how we could just hurry up and leave, BIL comes out. He walks over and gives me a big hug and says, "Don't let them get to you, you didn't do anything wrong. They've been drinking and you can't let them upset you". Hubby chimed in, "well T, it's awful hard to not feel bad when she's got two of them attacking her". It felt so good to have support from my husband and my BIL. It helped me wipe up my tears a tad. I told BIL that I never said a word about his daughter's boyfriend. He said, "I know, it doesn't matter anyway". But it does matter to me. I hate being accused of things I didn't do.

I've stuck my foot in my mouth enough to know that when I screw up it's better to just fess up and apologize. Nothing good comes from denial or from being pig headed when you are wrong. I am really good about admitting when I'm wrong and taking responsibility for my words/actions. There is more pride in getting something handled than there is in running from it or lying about it. If I'm wrong, I admit it. I most certainly don't feel I was wrong on Christmas or at Thanksgiving. I was rude when I snapped back at MIL, but I immediately apologized. I think MIL was rude for ignoring my parenting. She pushed when she shouldn't have. She owes me an apology for trying to have Jake do something I didn't want him to do.

We went back inside so hubby could have desert. I didn't even sit down. I was having a pretty bad contraction. I thought it was because by my maternity pants. (more on that later). Standing felt good and it also let hubby know that I was not interested in staying one minute longer. SIL came over to me and put her arm around me and said, "Oh I know. Just think I get to be around her till she leaves tomorrow". I didn't say a word I just exhaled. SIL had no idea how pissed off I was at her too. She seems to try to play both sides. Hubby thinks she's a bigger shit disturber than his mother is. I'm starting to agree with him.

I didn't know how to leave that night. MIL wouldn't look my way, SIL wouldn't look at me when she was around MIL. Everyone else was in their own little world. I started to cry again and told hubby. "How do we end this"? He said, well, we can just leave". We said goodbye to the nieces and then headed out. BIL came out to the truck and said his goodbyes there. It felt horrible and awkward. Meanwhile I was having my third contraction in 30 minutes. 

On the way home hubby and I rehashed the entire conversation he had with his mom and sister. We also rehashed our history with MIL and SIL since basically we were married. I asked him to please let me know if I was wrong on any or all of the things MIL accused me of being a terrible person or saying/doing something wrong. I promised him I would not be upset with him for telling me exactly how he felt and that it was better to get it all out in the open now so that I could make apologies or to just hear his opinion. He said that he agreed with me tonight, but that I shouldn't have raised my voice and that my statement was wrong. But he said his mom was equally as wrong. I agreed with him. He also felt I could have handled something regarding my brother's girlfriend a bit better than I did. I actually don't agree with him on that. But it was nice to know how he felt. It was a great conversation to have. Basically hubby thinks his mom is completely out of line and that his sister is the one that thrives on drama and wanted to disturb things. 

I felt terrible both physically and mentally. My uterus was tight but I hadn't had any further contractions since we left SIL's place. As soon as we got home I took off those awful maternity pants. Hubby and I talked some more. My biggest question was "where do we go from here?" We still haven't heard from anyone and we aren't going to be calling them anytime soon. Evidently MIL is thinking about taking her husband back. She just moved out and bought her own place back in mid September, but now they are in counseling once a week. Hubby and I agreed that because of her husband's actions that we will not ever have him in our home, nor will we go to any home they share. So even if MIL does start to talk to us, it isn't going to be the same relationship we had. 

I really don't know where to go from here. I know that even though I never believed stress could bring on contractions and preterm labor, I now believe it. My uterus was extremely tight and irritable all the following day. When hubby got home from work on Friday we talked some more about things I had forgotten that MIL has said to me over the past few years that he wanted me to try to remember in case he talks to her again. During the conversation I got upset and had another contraction. As I thought back through the day I realized that every time I got a contraction or my uterus feel extremely tight, it was when I was mentally rehashing the previous day's drama. It was a good wake up call for me to stop stressing and worrying about them. I have far more important people both in my womb and outside of it to take care of.  And I can say I had no contractions yesterday (Saturday) and only two today. 

So that's the recap on the Christmas drama. I supposed I posted this story more for myself, so that I can remember things should I need to in the future. It is what is now, can't change what's been said or done. 

The ultimate gift this Christmas

I was going to write a post about some ugly family drama that happened with my in laws yesterday at Christmas. But instead I'll focus on something much, much more significant. Because in the end our fights and disagreements mean NOTHING. 

I knew my friend Sam was on life support, I knew he had no brain activity after an accident on Saturday night. However, the last I heard they were going to "let him go" on Friday. So when I received this email from another friend I was a bit surprised. It was the first thing I read when I got home from a miserable evening of crying and just general yuck.

"Tonight at midnight a medical team will gather at LAMC. They will be there for a wonderful man named Sa.m Tho.m.pson, and so many others that they do not even know the names of yet. Sammy's heart is failing and his family has decided that it is time. Christmas of 2008 will bring the ultimate gift to so many. It will be Sammy's gift. By this time tomorrow, Christmas Day, Sam's heart, lungs, kidneys...etc. ...will be alive somewhere else. Could you imagine the people who are going to receive those calls?? I think this is amazing.

I remember in the movie City Slickers the guys were riding along talking and asking each other to name their best day. Sammy this will be your best day...."

Sam passed at 3:30am Thursday (Christmas morning).

I can not imagine a greater phone call than to hear the organ you have been waiting on, your match has been found on Christmas. Sam gave the ultimate gift. He and his family pay the ultimate price. I hope everyone one of the organs he gave results in a successful transplant. I hope his Christmas present is the best one ever for many people. 

Merry Christmas

I know not everyone will get their Christmas wishes granted this year. For all of you struggling to become parents a first or second, or multiple time. I'm sorry for your wait but I know it will all be worth it. 

I'm so thankful. So very, very thankful for so much.

Merry Christmas.

Snow

We live at the base of a mountain community. They got quite a bit of snow last week. Most of the folks that live up there come down to our town to shop. There was a ton of snow at the stop lights this week, from it rolling off the cars and trucks as they entered town. 

We decided to take a drive up the mountain and let Jake and the dogs have a romp in the snow. From our door to the snow is 12 miles. The weather was awesome, sunny and 55 degrees. I was not very graceful in my current condition in 8" or so of snow. But we had a good time.

We can't take credit for the snowman, they were already there. But we enjoyed them! 

We had a good time throwing snowballs for the dogs to chase. Grace is a champ snowball eater!

Jake was loving the snow. Not to play in, but to eat!  And yes, I realize he could have worn a T-shirt it was so warm, but he liked the hat, so we went with it. 

My boy - the giver.

Jake gave me his tiny cold. I'm sure he picked up from his new school. He feels fine. He gave me a bit of a scare on Wednesday, but basically other than a few hours feeling very yucky that day, he's been back to about 100%. 

Me, not so much as of 2am this morning. I don't often get sick or colds. I forget how much "fun" they are. NOT! I'm okay, just not feeling great. My nose isn't plugged up but I have that gross phlegmy thing going on. I ache a bit and have a nagging headache. I thought I was okay enough to go up the mountain this morning and take Jake and the dogs to play in the snow. We stayed about 30 minutes and then headed home. On the way down the mountain I started to feel gross. I got that ear ringing sensation and my throat felt hot. I came home and slept two hours. I'm a bit better now. Just taking it easy.

To be honest, I think I'm starting to finally feel "pregnant". I have contractions daily now, I've had two today and they have left my uterus feeling irritated and tight. I told Hubby last night, I think my days of feeling good are coming to an end. It's been a nice long haul and I'm so thankful that I made it to 7 months feeling as good as I have. 

I am going to try to get into the chiropractor tomorrow. Maybe he can fix some of my aches and pains. 

Oh Ya, Can you believe ...

.... I'm 7 months pregnant and in my third trimester! Yep! As of today I'm 28 weeks along. I'm amazed at how quickly this pregnancy has gone. It really has been such an amazing experience. I feel very privileged to be able to experience mommyhood two different ways.

On Wednesday I had an OB appointment. Things are great. I'm measuring at 37 weeks. LOL! I certainly don't feel like I'm that big. The babies' heartbeats are pounding away perfectly. My blood pressure is awesome. And, I passed my last glucose tolerance test, so I'm officially no longer checked for gestational diabetes. My level was 111 which was really good. 

I go back in two weeks, New Years Eve, Dec 31, to be exact, for another OB check and then on January 6 I have an U/S appointment. The OB appointment on the 31st will be with a different doctor as my doc will be on vacation. I'll have my Rhogram shot for my RH- status. There are many mixed opinions on having this shot. I have done my research and feel very comfortable taking the shot.

Honestly I feel really good. I have some issues with food, I'm hungry but can't get full as there is no room really. So I'm eating a little bit of food ALL the time. If I'm not eating I'm peeing. I've been keeping up with my fluid intake, which certainly helps keep me in the bathroom. The past week I've been more sore and experiencing a bit of joint pain. As of yesterday I feel very tender in my rib area when I take a deep breath or twist. I'm sure this is just growing baby stuff. Overall none of it is too bad. 

Tomorrow we have a meeting with a midwife. This midwife sounds really nice on the phone, but I'm not sure she is as experienced as I would like. I guess I'll find out more tomorrow. Then the following Tuesday I meet with another midwife. That one is probably the most experienced in our area. 

Some people expressed, via comments on the post as well as some emails to me that I'm putting too much pressure or putting too much into the home birth idea or specifically the natural birth idea. I guess I haven't been clear enough on my position. We would like to see if home birth is an option. Much of that decision depends on how this pregnancy continues. If I make it to 36+ weeks and the baby who is first to exit the womb is head down and all my other vitals continue to be awesome, than it is a viable option for us and one we will probably do. If not, then we will give birth at a hospital. If both babies are breech than we will for sure go to a hospital and more than likely have a c-section. My position is this, I will not allow a doctor to induce me unless one of the babies is in distress or I develop some complication myself that is severe enough to warrant immediate delivery. We have lots of time to figure everything out. One thing is for sure. I will not be holding hard and fast to any one scenario. If I need a c-section I'll be jumping on the OR table with a smile on my face knowing that I'm doing what is best for my baby. I've had "My" birth experience. Labor and delivery for my twins is their birth experience. I'm going to try to make it as safe, and perfect as possible. But honestly this isn't about ME. The whole reason we are looking into home birth is for them. I hope this clarifies some of the concerns. 

Random things to update!

I wrote a really long post the other day about my hormones and how I feel crazy. They make me feel very sad. I decided not to post it because it was just to depressing and I sounded like such a whack job. One paragraph I'm apologizing for expressing what my hormones are doing, the next paragraph I'm trying to justify my sadness. Thankfully things are much better the past two days. My darling husband and my wonderful friends helped me through a really rocky day. It has been over 24 hours since I cried! LOL!!! I even took Jake to school this morning and didn't shed a tear. That's MAJOR.

I other news, my grandma, who only has 2 legs, had her third hip replacement this year. She had her left hip done in March and then her right hip the day before Thanksgiving. She is a non-stop sort of person, didn't slow down and basically she broke the bone that the prosthetic hip fits into. So yesterday they went in, put in a new prosthetic hip and wired her break. According to my mom she's doing well. I'll give her a call tomorrow.

Speaking of my mom. She was layed off yesterday. She said, "I was fired". Well, no there is a difference. While I do feel sorry for my mom. I know that financial she's okay and can make it through some tough times. Her company also asked her to continue to freelance for them. So many families have lost not only their income but the insurance which is just so scary. Sorry to my mom, but I have a lot more sympathy for those who are loosing their jobs and are in much more dire situations. 

My great uncle died last Friday night. He was such a neat guy. He is my grandma's brother-in-law. His wife, my grandma's sister passed away in early July. She had battled Alzheimer's disease for quite a few years, the last 2 years being very difficult. They were married 64 years! He hated living without here. Even when she wasn't fully "there" mentally, he still could love her and care for her. After she died, he kept busy but the past 6 months were difficult for him. He really missed his beloved Laura. He called his daughter around 11:30 Friday night and said, "I don't feel well, come here, bring your key I don't know if I can make it to the door". When they arrived he was basically gone. I had just sent him a Christmas card on Wednesday or Thursday. I hope he got it. Monday I got his Christmas card. "Hope to see you both soon, Love Uncle Wayne". It made both Alex and I tear up. But I'm glad he'll be with his Beloved Laura for Christmas this year. 

So, my great uncle died, my grandma had to have a third hip surgery this year due to breaking her hip and my mom lost her job. But guess what? I just saved $1000/year on our home owners insurance! No kidding. Really, our new roof will pay for it's self in 11 years! LOL