Away To Me

Twin mommy

I met a new twin mommy this morning. Her boys turn six weeks old tomorrow. She's working so hard at breast feeding and just getting a handle on things. She's been very fortunate with help, today was her first day home alone. Well, not really alone as I visited as well as her doula. But for the firs six weeks she's had family available to her.

Her babies are perfect and adorable. One reminds me of Nathan in that he's a bit louder than the other and requires more holding time. I couldn't help her too much as I had my boys with me, but I was able to hold her little "Q" for awhile and burp him so that she could nurse her other baby. I do NOT miss that stage I tell you. I remember when my boys were six weeks and everyone kept saying, "oh it gets better about 6 weeks". And when it didn't get better it just made me sad and confused. I think she's at that stage right now.

I hope my boys with their giggles, happy dispositions and smiling faces helped her see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was so glad they were happy and on their best behavior, the last thing she would needs is two more crabby babies in her presence. Nathan was his grinning, mischievous self and Wesley just smiled and entertained himself by watching his hands. He is so easily amused. Nathan gets bored quickly, but he's so animated when he is delighted by something. 

I am envious of the help she's received and envious of the sleep she gets at night, but I'm so thankful I'm beyond that sore nipple stage.  On one hand it would have been so easy to have twins first then a singleton, but on the other, I think it would be so hard being a first time mommy and having two babies screaming at you and not fully understanding that sometimes, that's what some babies do. I wouldn't trade places with anyone that's for sure. I love having Jake as the big brother. I love how good he is with his siblings. Now if I could just get his baby brothers to nap and sleep through the night like he does, I'd be golden!

I brought the new mommy a book that helped me, Mothering Multiples. And I also brought a few outfits that my boys have outgrown. I didn't want to give her too much advice or boggle her with details or suggestions. I only made one suggestion and I hope it helps. I reminded her to call me any time, even if it is just to vent or cry. One thing is for sure, I'll be awake if she calls. I'm always awake these days.

I hope this new twin mommy and I can be friends. It will be nice to have someone in the area with twin boys very close in age to my boys. She and I have a lot of the same interests which is great. I'm so thankful that I have such a caring midwife who put the two of us in touch with each other so that we can help one another. It's times like this that I realize how important mom friends are, how important female friends are in fact. I never appreciated women friends until I became a mommy. Nobody can talk sore nips and terrible diapers like two new mommies. It's nice to have someone who understands.

Stupid Sleep.

Isn't the definition of stupid something like "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome"? I think that's what I've heard.

I'm trying to get these babies to sleep. There is a fine line between, consistent routines, and doing the same thing over and it's not working. Right now, things aren't working for Wesley, but some changes I've made for Nathan are working. 

The pediatrician confirmed my suspicion of silent reflux for the Nater. I've started feeding him earlier (about an hour before bed) and then sitting him up right and even keeping him elevated at night. So far so good, instead of getting up 8-10 times a night, he's only getting up about 5 times and when he does get up, he's falling back asleep very quickly and not needing to nurse every time. 

The Wesser is a different story. He went from getting up 4 times a night to getting up 7 or 8 times a night and he's a bear to get back to sleep. Last night I gave up, I'd had enough, so I thought I'd try letting him fuss it out a bit. 

No dice. He never screamed, but he was not happy for a long, long time, like 45 mins or more. Finally he started to ramp things up and getting loud, very loud so hubby walked him around for 20 mins and he finally crashed. The good news is he went to sleep without nursing and that has to be the first step in teaching him how to go back to sleep without me.  He is not waking up hungry, but nursing is certainly a comfort both boys love. Maybe with only one baby I could do it, but I am so exhausted, I just can't do it anymore. 

I really don't want to be the sleep martyr. Seriously, I asked myself if maybe I was sabotaging the boys sleep for the sake of having something to complain about. The answer is NO. But when you are this tired and the same thing happens night after night, no matter what you try, you have to wonder if you aren't the cause. Does that make sense?

I do think part of the problem is the pack n play cribs. I don't think they are comfy for the boys. Nathan has been sleeping with me since I started keeping him elevated at night and I think that has helped him. So tonight, Wesley will join us and we will try to get more sleep and figure out how to make sleep a consistent part of our nights. Jake needs me to be rested, my husband needs me to be rested, I need me to be rested!

Oh and another thing I've figured out, I'm replacing sleep with food. Lovely, fat and tired! 

It's a Fiesta!

We went to Fiesta Island in Mission Bay yesterday and had a great time. I must say, it is pretty amazing that we can leave the desert in the morning, leaving palm trees behind, drive up the mountain and see pine trees and then back down the mountain and arrive at the beach, all in the same morning.

We can park right on the water and keep our car with all our things close to where we day camped.  Another neat thing, putting our shade tent up right at the water's edge so that Jake could build sand castles in the shade and we could still be close to the babies that were loving the cool ocean breezes!

We could also bring the dogs and they had so much fun. Jake had a blast with them too!

Jake and I enjoyed some floating around time. 

Nathan

Wesley (who is teething so badly right now)

Sitter Stuff

Okay, a little history regarding our sitter situation. We have found one sitter. She was recommended by another twin mom and I interviewed her on Thursday and she is perfect! She is everything you'd want in a sitter. She used to own and operate a daycare in Oregon. Since moving to our area about 8 years ago, she's been sitting for a handful of families and everyone of them highly recommends her. She's older, experienced, trustworthy and the way she spoke to Jake, I'm sure she'll be lots of fun for him. 

And while Jake took to her instantly, Nathan and Wesley, not so much. So the plan we have is for her to come on Wednesday about 11ish. I'm going to leave and go to the market and then pick up Jake from school at 12:30. I'll only be gone about an hour and a half. Just enough time for the babies to learn to be around her, but not so much time that they'll be completely distraught if they don't get used to her. Something tells me her experience and loving manner will convince them that they'll be okay in her arms. Either way, at some point, they have to learn to be held by strangers. They love visiting with people as long as they don't hold them.

I'm still looking for a second or third sitter. This good sitter, "Rose" is busy nearly every weekend. So if I want a date night with my hubby, she's not a viable option most times. And the other families she works for take priority over us newbies. I would really like a date night with my hubby some time soon. We've never left the babies and Jake hasn't been left since the babies were born either. 

And as far as the idiot who called about the sitter position at 11:15 a night. My ad clearly said, no calls after 8pm and listed the number as my cell. I think she's an 18yo pot smoking moron. I can only hope she doesn't find a sitting job.

OH wait, it gets better!

I wrote the last post before checking my email. To get up to speed, go check the previous post, then come back and read this post. 

I'll wait for you.

Did you read the previous post? Can you believe it? Okay, in my inbox was an email applying for the job of sitting for us. Here is what she sent: 

"hey,My name is Michelle.Im very outgoing,bright spiirt,kind hearted person.Im very trust worthy.And i take care of buisness well.Kids are great to me and i love to teach them and watch children grow and explore." 

So I go to my account on Sitter City and pull up her profile. Which reads: 

"Hi parents,My name is Michelle.Im are very wonderful person to be around your children.Teaching children and watching them grow is something i enjoy.I want to be there when the parents are busy and dont have time to teach them all the positve things in life, And how fun the world really is.Im an upcoming clothing modle for Torrid.My habbies are scrapbooking,the beach,movies,bowling,and concerts.Mostly im a sit home person.I enjoy watching spongebob eating something lol."

I'll be blocking her from our profile ASAP. Something tells me her late night eating something and watching Sponge Bob has something to do with smoking weed. Ya think?  

Are you drunk, dumb or both?

Dear twit who called about my ad on Sitter City,

Are you dumb, drunk or both? Why on earth would you call a potential employer about a baby sitting job at 11:15 at night? You even left a message asking me to call you back. Really? You want me to call you back? How about I call you back at 3am when the boys are up nursing. Would that work for you? It might actually as you are probably up nursing your crack habit. 

I think it's safe to say you wont' be getting our sitting job. 

Signed, 

Tired-angry-can't believe-how-stupid-people-are-Mom

PS: If you are friends with the lady that interviewed for the job in person on Thursday who told me my 5mo old is manipulating and controlling me because he is afraid of strangers, tell her she doesn't have the job either. 

Made an Appointment

I made an appointment for Nathan to see the pediatrician. We go in Monday afternoon. Something is not right with him. If he were not a twin, I might have done this sooner. But I think one of the regretful aspects of mothering twins is that I lump both babies together as one healthy group. They are both eating well, gaining weight, meeting milestones, etc. But Nathan is different. 

Nathan is not happy at night. He never sleeps long and his longest sleep sessions happen while he's in the swing. I'm beginning to think that it's not the motion of the swing that is helping him, but rather the sitting up part. The swing positions him a little more upright than flat on his back.  I wonder if he has a little reflux issue. He doesn't spit up often, but just a bit ago, I noticed he spit up when he was napping. He was laying against my thigh as I was sitting in bed reading and then he woke up abruptly and did his normal frantic scream. I looked down and he was spitting up and it was the harsh smell spit up, stomach acid smell. The volume wasn't a lot, but he seemed scared and uncomfortable. I picked him up quickly and cuddled him and within a few seconds he seemed fine. Wesley spits up from time to time, but it's just extra milk and it doesn't have that acidic smell. 

Another issue we have with Nathan is his nose. He always gets a plugged up nose at night. We swab it with stuff, squirt saline spray and keep the humidifier going next to his crib, but he's always stuffed up and I can hear the nose it makes and it wakes him up. It startles him awake some times, making him seem frantic for help. We mentioned this to the pediatrician and she said that's about all that can be done. But I'm going to have to push her on this more. 

My mommy instinct tells me that something is wrong here. I don't know if it's fixable in the near future, but I do know, that crying out won't help him, and teaching him the bad habit of not sleeping is not going to help him either. We need to make a change and starting with the pediatrician and possibly a pediatric ENT doc might be our first steps.   We let both boys fuss it out over the past week, but it didn't work with Nathan. He just gets hysterical and louder and I don't know how long he'd go on screaming, but I can tell you this, the kid showed no signs of slowing down any time soon. And talking to him and rubbing his tummy made it worse. Ignoring him just made him cry in intervals. It was horrid. Last night I refused to let him fuss. When he would wake up I'd make sure he was really awake, then I'd nurse him, then burp him and lay him back down. He was up ever 45 mins to 1 1/2 hours. I was up 8 times with Nathan and 3 times with Wesley last night. It was terrible.

Tonight's plan is to have hubby sleep in Jake's room so that I can have the whole bed to myself with the babies. I'll put Nathan in bed with me and try it all over again. I'm hoping he'll feel some security with that arrangement and maybe sleep longer stretches. He's so good about falling asleep, both boys are actually. When we first start the bedtime routine, I nurse them, burp them, talk to them for a bit and hang out and then when they are tired, but not yet asleep we put them in their cribs and within 5 mins both are sleeping. No fussing, nothing, just some happy babble and then out. So I just don't get why middle of the night wake ups are such a huge screaming deal. It makes no sense.  Both boys wake up in the morning happy too! If it is daylight, Nathan never screams, he has a huge grin on his face and he stretches and seems so relaxed. Maybe he's afraid of the dark. Night light on tonight!  

Sorry this post seems so disjointed. I wrote part of it, then had to do something, then wrote some more, took a nap, etc. So it's taken me all day to finish it. LoL!

Resort Town, Resort prices

Jake went to school today at the Montessori school in town. He'll only go three days this week and three days next week before they take a month long break. He loved it! I picked him up and he was chatting my head off all the way home. I'm so happy he is happy. We have had the nicest afternoon together. Although I must say, he slept 3 hours, so it was a peaceful afternoon for me. I don't know how we are going to afford this, but we'll figure it out. I may have to start doing more photography outside the comfy niche of specialty. 

Baby sitters in this area are outrageously expensive. I'm glad that good child care is valued and that people recognize what a difficult job properly watching children is worth, but it means that I can't afford much help. Hubby and I are interviewing a couple of sitters tomorrow, that have been recommended to us. At $12-$15 an hour, I expect our date nights will be limited and short. But I would love to go out with my husband for dinner at least once a month. 

This valley is a ghost town this time of year. The oppressive heat just runs people out. Even the working Joes take their vacations in July and August to escape the heat and there's not much work here this time of year. 

Hubby's business is way down which was completely expected, but none the less it's scary. You prepare for the worst but hope for the best. So far hoping, isn't helping, but we don't have much of a choice. 

We still do not know what the status of the potential new home is. The selling agent said that the bank will approve our offer but I've learned real estate agents will say a lot of things regardless of how much truth there is. Last Saturday we drove by the house (whcih we do often) and saw the owner out front. We stopped and talked to her. She asked us if we wanted to purchase the pool fencing. To clarify, this pool fencing is the removable kind. Sort of like this. Because it is the removable kind, we made sure when we wrote up the purchase agreement to specifically include it into the contract. We pointed this out to the owner who seemed taken off guard by that news. She had the fencing listed for sale on Craigs List. She was nice about it but when I suggested she check the contract and call her listing agent she said, "ya, I will, because it was my understanding anything that wasn't permanently affixed to the house was ours". That makes me nervous. If they were to sell the fencing, we really don't have any recourse. They are loosing their home and are unemployed, it's not like we can sue them for anything. So I'm hoping they uphold their end of the bargain. Purchasing a short sale home is quite the adventure. We are hoping to hear something by Friday, but they technically only have till next Friday to give us an answer. At which point, we can cancel the agreement and get our deposit money back. Not that we would, but we could.

So that's the latest and greatest from the land of heat. I did find one positive thing about the heat today, if you leave your hot coffee in the car when you run your errands, when you return to your car, it's still warm!

It's soooo hot - funny but not jokes

Okay, I'm not complaining, in fact, I'm making a joke out of reality, because it is funny, in a laugh-to-keep-from-crying sort of way. These are all real examples! TRUTH.

It is so hot here: 

• The Starbucks has their fans and outside misters going at 6am! 

• Some of the businesses have to put towels wrapped around the metal door handles so that it's not too hot to pull open the door.

• The cactus burns here! Really, people put shade cloths on some of their cactus and other plants. I had to move my potted cactus into the shade.

• It took 9 hours for the A/C to cool this house from 85 to 77. It was doing all it could to just maintain the temperature at 85, it struggled to cool it more.  

• The weekend street fair opens at 7am and closes at noon and it's a ghost town! Basically all they sell there are swimsuits, sunglasses and hats. 

• The weather forecaster called it a cooling trend when it went from 112 to 109 to 105 in three days. 

•  When you go to a parking lot you debate about what is hotter, parking 100 yards from the entrance of the building in shade and having to walk, or parking closer with no shade but getting into the building faster.  

• The water in the tap is never cold.   

• The water in the swimming pool is 90 degrees   

I'm sure I'll be able to add more to this list in the future.  

5 months

The boys turned 5 months old on Saturday. I really wanted to write a post about who they are, their personalities, their physical abilities, etc. But frankly I'm too tired. 

My three-year-old is acting like, well, a three-year-old. And I love him more than words can express, but he's driving me insane. Everything is an argument. Except, I've quit arguing. So I have the constant whining while I try to be patient and calming assert myself. I swear to you, if I have to say, "pick up your legos" one more time, I may poke my eyes out. 

The babies are sleeping better. Mostly because I've been forced to say no to nursing more than 2 times a night (per baby) so yes, I'm still getting up 4 times a night, but it's better than 6 or 7 times. Who knew you could function on so little sleep for so many months. I had no idea. 

I read forums or blogs and hear new mommies of one baby complain about lack of sleep and I vacillate between laughing at them and being severely annoyed by their complaints. 

And my husband tries his best to help. But sometimes I think I'm going to to just pummel him with a dull hard object. I guess it is my fault for not asking for help more often, but aren't some house hold chores obvious? I'm starting a new thing come Monday. I'm going to put a list of things that need to get done on the fridge. Maybe instead of asking "How can I help you" he'll look at the list and just do it.

I did work on Saturday, and it felt good to contribute some money to our household. This money will be used for Jake's school. I also reached out to the twin mom group and asked them to help me with sitter suggestions. I got a few replies. I hope it works out, because I need an evening with my husband and no babies.

And it's hot here. I swore to myself I wouldn't complain about the heat, I mean that could get old so quickly, but DAMN IT IS HOT here. H.O.T. HOT!!! It is like 105 at midnight and 114 during the day. Okay, I'm done complaining. I'm taking my precious computer time now to go edit photos from Saturday's shoot.