Some of my proudest 72 hours ever!

For the past three days I have not raised my voice or yelled at Jake. I know to some of you that sounds like no big deal. But lately I've become a yelling mom. I never wanted to be a yelling mom. I am embarrassed that I've become a yeller. In fact, I've become a screamer at times. Not good, not good at all.

The other day I was reading one of my favorite blogs and I read a post that really put it in perspective for me. I don't want to change who my child is (in a negative way). Yelling does that I am not going to do that to him.   I love him more than anything. ( all my kids) I would hate to be yelled at all the time. Why would I do that to someone I love? My husband doesn't yell at me and yet lately we have both been yelling at Jake. It is time to stop.

It just sort of snuck up on me. It seems like I'm always so tired from being up with babies all night and sometimes Jake would be doing something and I couldn't physically get to him to stop him so I'd yell. It is like I replaced my body with my voice. Baby on the boob or not, I can not yell! I will not yell!

Not yelling is hard, very hard. But it is also very rewarding. I feel like a much more productive parent. Plus, now when Jake yells at me and I calmly say, "Mommy doesn't speak to you that way, you can't speak to mommy that way". He told me today, "sorry mom, that's rude and the police man will take you to jail if you talk like that". I explained that it wasn't that drastic, but that yes, it is rude and that if I yell at him he should remind me not to yell. 

So, remind yourself, not to yell at your kids. And Christine if you read this. Thank you!!!

Comments

[Christine]

THAT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GREAT!

You are amazing!

Christine

[Erin]

oh...i read the link! Very good. I too often find myself yelling and it sucks! This is my encouragement for the day to change that! Surely does not benefit anyone. Plus, I've seen in the past how effect it is when I am the bigger person. Reality checks are always good. Thanks for the post!

[Amy]

Thanks - I'm really trying to get better at that and with an almost 4 year old - it is tough! Kudos to you!!

[Susan Sparling]

Ohhhh, I so understand. Give yourself the freedom to make a mistake and then tell your child you realize it wasn't the way you wanted to act. . . or just change your behavior, which you did. Our children are so loyal; they do get it. It's great to them to learn we always don't love our own behavior but we still can be loved.

[karen j]

Great post and the blog link was awesome too. Kudos and I am sure it will get easier. Now, if I could just figure out a way to get this to my nephew's wife who is the WORST about yelling!

[maggie]

good post (and the link too) -- i am on board with this too - it is really hard - really hard - but my kids are behaving better - like magic if you can pull it off! thanks!

[LeAnna]

Thanks for the post and the link. I think it is great. I used to be a big time yeller - but Hubby brought it my attention - and I quickly realized it had really nothing to do with my son, but with me and my stresses...I was just taking it out on him....bad mom I was...but now we count 1-2-3 consequence...we rarely get past two and most the time we get past 1. Life is much happier in our household now. Thanks for the reminder!

Good luck!

[StorkWatcher]

I've been struggling with this from time to time as well! I'm glad I"m not alone, or the only "mean mom out there losing it", because that's how yelling makes me feel!

I think I have less patience now, because my little guy just turned four, and in my head I think four is old enough to remember what we've been teaching him, to have better impulse control (HA! Then what's my excuse?) and to be more mature.

But four is also a time to really test some limits, to exert more independence, and for him to figure some things out on his own with natural consequences.

I think it's time I re-read some of the positive discipline books I checked out of the library 12 or 18 months ago....

Recognition of our problems is the first step, right?

I hope you have a "scream free" day today!!! I'll try to do the same.