My Jakey is back!

For the past 6-8 months my Jake has been gone. In his place has been a moody, angry, defiant, sour, mean, pill of a child, with only brief moments of sweet Jake. I haven't posted much about it because it was really bothering me and it felt like I was doing something wrong and I just didn't need blog criticism about it. I can't stress enough how awful he's been. I was embarrassed to take him to friend's places. His attitude was just horrid. He acted mad all the time.  

In my heart of hearts I hoped it was a phase. I needed it to be a phase. I felt sick when I'd think about the change in him. Obviously we knew the babies were the main cause and then the move and all the other changes he'd been through in the past 8 months. But it seemed like such a long phase I was really worried and second guessing my parenting skills, my decision making, my .... well everything.

Like a light switch something has changed. It has not been gradual. Over night he changed. I'm not kidding. It's like he woke up a completely different person (his old sweet self). He is doing things the first time he's asked, he's being nice to his brothers, he's helpful, fun, happier! He's his old self! Over freaking night he changed! It's been 5 days of this. Five days of heaven! My life is so much easier, happier! I have energy left over at night. Before he was exhausting me. I couldn't wait for daddy to get home and "take over". It's sad how much he drained me with the constant battles!

I have some fears that still cross my mind about why the sudden switch off of the poor behaviors. But I'm not going to focus on that right now ... I'm having too much fun with my Jakey back!

Comments

[susan]

Ohh, D, I know how these things go. I also have 3 children and they DO go through difficult growing times. I can imagine how much Jake's little brain and heart had to handle for a while there -- and reading your post made me smile for you. When we read about an "acting out phase" it's nothin' like LIVING the phase. Hugs to you.

[maggie]

I find that it is so easier to get thru the "terrible 2's" with my second child cuz I already know what to expect. I can laugh and stay calm at her tantrums and crying and kicking me when I try to change her cuz I went thru it once already and know it is a phase. Believe me that I thought I was doing something wrong the first time but now i realize it is just a phase they all go thru. I am sure Jake has had some struggles with two new brothers and moving - who wouldn't? An older person could express feelings, a toddler can't tell you but they can sure act them out! Add to that the normal phases kids go thru and there you go! I am glad things are better!

[Brooke]

Deanna, I am so glad you posted this. We're going through the same thing with our almost-four year old, and I am praying it's just a phase. We've been through a very challenging seven months with my mum's diagnosis and subsequent death, travel back and forth to Australia, and then to London for Christmas. I don't know what happened to my sweet boy, but you've given me hope that this isn't permanent and that he'll come through this.

[Daisha]

Tyce did the exact same thing. Three years old was hell for me and then like a switch...he turned four and he was amazing!!! Maybe it was even a little before four? I don't know. I didn't question it...I just enjoyed it! Congratulations.

[erin]

same thing here!!! Right after el turned 4 she was a totally differet girl!! My nice sweet child was back! It's been great!! Congrats!!!

I also have some ?'s about BLW...is it normal for babes to sometimes reject food all together and just want to nurse even @ 12 months?? I feel like we've taken 10 steps back, nursing a lot and up every few hours @ night. Ugh! Growth spurt maybe?

[LeAnna]

Oh D - we have been there...and hoping the end is nearing - him coming home with the manners award blew my socks off on Wednesday...he and Jakey are one week apart...so glad to know this is 'normal' for their age and we are not alone.

LeAnna