Away To Me

Another Email

At least once every month to month and a half, I get an email from a blog reader telling me they too are going through an adoption case where the ICWA law is being improperly used. Yesterday there was another such email. What stood out about this email is two things. One, the adoptive mom in this situation is native American herself. She is of a different tribe but was able to adopt a child 22 months ago. Now, the same birthmother has had another child and has placed the child with them for adoption. This child is a sibling to the first child this family adopted. At finalization the tribe stepped in and is fighting this couple for the child.

Let me recap, the adoptive mom is Native American, the family already has adopted (with tribe approval) the first child from this birthmother and yet, the tribe is trying to stop the adoption of the sibling. Unbelievable!

According to the adoptive mom who wrote me telling me about her case, the tribe doesn't consider the sisters, actual sisters, because the older sister was adopted. How much sense does that make? Why on earth would the tribe fight for this child? Why would they go against the wishes of the natural mother? Why, why, why? This law is absolutely being abused in this situation and so many other situations.

I would like to remind you, I am not against ICWA when it is used properly. In my opinion, properly means a lot of different things. Exmpl: when it is approved by the natural mom or father; When it doesn't upset a placement. (if a child is in a foster-to-adopt situation and then they find out the child's ancestry is of Native American heritage, I think it would be terrible if they removed the child from a stable loving home, just to have him or her in a Native American home.) But what is happening in cases like the above is criminal and I think the tribal nations should be ashamed of themselves and the tribal elders and attorneys who pursue cases such as this should be held accountable criminally.

My little Indian boy*

I'm sending in Jake's application for enrollment into the Cherokee Nation today. I gathered all the paperwork up and filled out all the forms. The Tribe asked that we enroll him withing 3 months of his adoption being finalized, but that was not possible. We only just received his birth certificate and that is one of the many items that had to be included with the application.

I must admit, reading through that correspondence to sent us from the Tribe made me angry. I hated the way things were worded. I hated the feelings that came with reading the words. I hated the memory of feeling like there was a chance to loose Jake because of a law that was being abused form its original intent.

It is ironic I think, that Jake's two bio siblings are not registered with the tribe but he will be.

*Yes, I know the title isn't "PC" but I don't give a rat's behind!

Happy, happy, happy day

From our attorney today:

Good news! I just received a faxed letter from legal counsel for the tribe. The letter says that they do not intend to object to or interfere with your adoption. They were greatly persuaded by the letter we wrote them several weeks back, and by your commitment to educate Jake about his Cherokee heritage. They want to require you to enroll Jake in the tribe, so that he retains his rights and heritage. They probably can't require you to do that, but I think you should agree to anyway, if you're willing. I'll give you more details later today, including faxing the letter to you. I'll contact the tribal attorney and see what she has in mind, what kind of an agreement we might reach regarding enrolling Jake. If you enroll him, I'd like it to be after the adoption is completed. At any rate, this is a great relief. I'll be in contact later today.

I'm so emotional right now from absolute relief that I don't know quite what to say. As you can imagine from yesterday's post I was beginning to buckle under the pressure of this matter. I was so frustrated yesterday because social workers were not getting in touch with other social workers so that papers could be filed in court for Jake's adoption. Our intent was to get everything filed before the tribe filed anything. Now, we don't have to worry about that. Wow, I feel like I've lost 40 pounds....how I wish that were true!

It shouldn't apply

I've been doing lots of research about ICWA over the weekend. My studies have lead me to believe that ICWA should not apply to our case. There are plenty of recorded cases where the courts have proven that ICWA is not valid because the child is not being taken from an "Indian Home" or an "Indian Enviornment". Take this case as an example:

Baby Boy L., supra, 643 P.2d 168. In that case, the Kansas Supreme Court observed that the purpose of ICWA was to maintain family and tribal relationships existing in Indian homes and to set standards for removal of Indian children from an existing Indian environment. (643 P.2d at p. 175.) The court found that the child whose custody was at issue in that case had been relinquished by his non-Indian mother at birth and had never been in the custody of his Indian father. The child thus had never been part of an Indian family relationship. Preservation of an Indian family was therefore not involved in the case; consequently, ICWA did not apply. (643 P.2d at p. 175; see also Matter of Adoption of T.R.M. (Ind., 1988) 525 N.E.2d 298, 303; Claymore v. Serr (S.D., 1987) 405 N.W.2d 650, 654; In the Interest of S.A.M. (Mo., 1986) 703 S.W.2d 603, 609; Adoption of Baby Boy D. (Ok., 1985) 742 P.2d 1059, 1064, cert. den. by Harjo v. Duello (1988) 484 U.S. 1072 [98 L.Ed.2d 1005, 108 S.Ct. 1042].)

That is exactly like our case! Except we are not in Kansas. What saddens me is that we are going to have to pay to defend this. I am not worried about loosing Jake. "Jill" has made it very clear that she will give us legal guardianship if she has to revoke the adoption to stop the Tribe. She and "Jack" are committed to this adoption as much as we are committed to fighting for Jake.

I'm angry that it has gotten this far, but hopeful that it won't go any farther. I will not go to the media or to anyone else. I will however if the Tribe goes any farther. There is a particular female attorney located in Los Angeles who is very well known for defending the rights of women. (I'm sure you "alred-y" know who I am talking about). I'm sure she would flip out if she could see what the Tribe was trying to do to "Jill". I think she would love to represent her...wouldn't you think?

Angry

The more research I do on ICWA law the more angry I am about this. This law had a good purpose in the beginning. It was designed so that Native American children couldn't be ripped from their culture. It was designed to basically put a stop to what amounted to genocide.

It was not designed to tell a birth mom she can't place her child with the family of her choice. This is abuse of the law and it angers me that we have to spend hard earned money fighting this. I've been reading article after article about this and I have yet to find a case like ours where a tribe won. Why are they putting us through this. Why are they making us spend his college tuition money on this completely warped attempt at stealing a child. And yes, I think they are trying to steal a child, not save a child from missing his culture.

Originally I thought maybe it would be understandable if Jake was 1/4 or 1/2 Native American. But you know what it wouldn't matter if he 100% Native American. His birth family made a plan for him and that is their right. Who the hell has the right to tell them they have to raise him or place him with a Native American family.

Could the tribe stop her from having an abortion? What about her two children living at home with her, has the tribe sent them any information about their culture? NO! Why, because they don't really care. If they cared they would try to help them out and send them information on their culture and different programs that they might be eligible for. Why the heck do they want our child? Is this revenge against the white man, lots of people have told me that is part of it? Why Jake? I sort of want this exposed so that other hopeful adoptive parents can be made aware of how serious this is. But I don't want to make things worse. What do you think, expose this now or wait things out and see if the tribe actually files paperwork in court?

Attorney Talk

Can I tell you how much I love my attorney? I love, love, love him. I hate to brag on him too much because things like that always backfire on me but I really do like the guy and how thorough he is.

He spoke with The Man when it comes to ICWA matters, an attorney who is out of state. Basically the way the statute is written is pretty straight forward. There is a clause that reads something to the effect of "the court may disregard the ICWA law for "Good Cause". We believe that good cause is the birth mom's decision to choose the family for her child.  This is a private, voluntary placement. This is the child's home and we are the only parents he has known since the moment he was born. How could that not be in the child's best interest? How could his birth mom's decision not be good cause? On it's face it looks like there should be no way the tribe could win this.... but you all know how that goes. Until the judge and the stat tell me that A and I are officially recognized as Jake's parents, we aren't going to breath easy.

I spoke with Jake's bio mom today and gave her a heads up about everything. She is LIVID! She is so mad that the tribe is doing this that she wants to come through the phone at them. She also told me that if God forbid the tribe does win that she will revoke the adoption (so that they can't take custody) and then she will grant us legal guardianship so that Jake never has to leave our home. She is such a love!

That's all the update I have for now. I'm going to be gone for a few days so you won't get any updates till next week. Wish me and Grace luck on our dog trial. I still need to update you all on my horrible day last week... it involves the person I have to be around this weekend so I hope everything goes smoothly.

Oh, by the way, I have ---- out the ICWA letters because if someone googles ICWA I don't want my blog to come up. Not until this is all over with. Then I hope my blog will help other parents (bio and adoptive) learn how to handle the ICWA law and how it is being abused and not used for its intended purpose!

Interesting Article

I've been researching the abuse of the ICWA law by tribes not caring about the best interest of the child/ren involved. This story is a prime example of why ICWA shouldn't apply to every adoption.