I don't have the luxury of over doing it any more. I've always been a fit fat girl. I take pride in being able to lift 100 pound bales of alfalfa off my truck and stacking them 3 high. I like that I can hook up my own travel or sheep trailers and travel where I need to go. I like being independent in mind and having the physical ability to do what I need to. Even at 5' tall and chunky, I can outwork and outrun most people I know.
Last week I was helping a lady with her dog and needed to do a bit of running. The lady is in her mid 40's and normal shape and weight. She got super tired long before I did and did less moving than I did. I was a bit shocked. Yesterday I went out and we worked dogs and sheep again and I ran across the field. I ran about 40 yards through this field that is plowed deep so it is sort of like running in deep beach sand. When I reached the gravel road I jumped onto and over the tail gate of my sheep trailer, made a sharp left and leaned over to grab something off the ground.
I felt fine with all my maneuvers, but I got hot and winded this time. I had a hard time cooling off and I had to sit down for a little while. I was casual with my friend and didn't make a big deal of it, because honestly I didn't feel bad, just hot at that point and we both needed to sit and drink some water. It was in the mid 80's at about this time in the morning and it was a tad humid.
After about 20 minutes of not being able to cool off I decided we should call it a day. It was too warm for the sheep and dogs. ( of course I didn't think it was too warm for myself). As I drove home I realized my bra was really wet with sweat. I normally don't sweat much. I got home, ate something, drank some more water and then rested with Jake. I felt yucky the rest of the day. I really took it easy and felt like I was fighting off a headache all day. My bra, by the time I got home and took it off was nearly sopping! So gross.
I was body sore, foot sore and miserable by late evening and took a nice long shower which helped my muscles. I didn't sleep well last night. Every little cramp type feeling or pressure on my bladder made me startle and freak. I was worried about my activities and was seriously concerned. I realized I could have jeopardize our pregnancy with my over doing it. I was up 4 times last night to pee and normally I don't turn on the light, but last night I did and with each wipe I had to check the TP for blood. I didn't have cramps or any real reason to worry, just the regular twinges I get.
The difference between myself and someone who has never struggled with infertility or pregnancy loss (we have been fortunate and have never had to deal with pregnancy loss either) is that I don't have the luxury of taking chances like I did yesterday, where as someone else, might not even worry. Even if nothing would ever happen, mentally I can't take those chances. I feel fine today but I'll be taking it easy. I won't be running through plowed fields any more. I'm 11 1/2 weeks pregnant with twins and it is time to start remembering that. Not that I forget but sometimes, most times I don't feel pregnant. It still doesn't feel real yet. Well, I guess it doesn't seem real until I almost do something to jeopardize it!