Away To Me

Blog inspiration

I suppose no news is good news, right? I'm rather boring right now. I have a list of items I wish to blog about but, when it comes down to it, I really don't sit down and write. I suppose I need some inspiration. Anything sound good to you guys to read about? 

Here's a list:

• Rude people's questions "are they natural or did you do IVF or something?"
• Changes made to our yard to keep Jake safe.
• MIL's going to freak with our request!
• My brain goes to selfish places when I start thinking about the future.
• Eating steak and drinking water while sitting on the toilet (not really). 

So tell me, do any of those topics sound interesting? Let me know and I'll get to writing. 

Running through plowed fields.

I don't have the luxury of over doing it any more. I've always been a fit fat girl. I take pride in being able to lift 100 pound bales of alfalfa off my truck and stacking them 3 high. I like that I can hook up my own travel or sheep trailers and travel where I need to go. I like being independent in mind and having the physical ability to do what I need to. Even at 5' tall and chunky, I can outwork and outrun most people I know. 

Last week I was helping a lady with her dog and needed to do a bit of running. The lady is in her mid 40's and normal shape and weight. She got super tired long before I did and did less moving than I did. I was a bit shocked. Yesterday I went out and we worked dogs and sheep again and I ran across the field. I ran about 40 yards through this field that is plowed deep so it is sort of like running in deep beach sand. When I reached the gravel road I jumped onto and over the tail gate of my sheep trailer, made a sharp left and leaned over to grab something off the ground. 

I felt fine with all my maneuvers, but I got hot and winded this time. I had a hard time cooling off and I had to sit down for a little while. I was casual with my friend and didn't make a big deal of it, because honestly I didn't feel bad, just hot at that point and we both needed to sit and drink some water. It was in the mid 80's at about this time in the morning and it was a tad humid.

After about 20 minutes of not being able to cool off I decided we should call it a day. It was too warm for the sheep and dogs. ( of course I didn't think it was too warm for myself). As I drove home I realized my bra was really wet with sweat. I normally don't sweat much. I got home, ate something, drank some more water and then rested with Jake. I felt yucky the rest of the day. I really took it easy and felt like I was fighting off a headache all day. My bra, by the time I got home and took it off was nearly sopping! So gross. 

I was body sore, foot sore and miserable by late evening and took a nice long shower which helped my muscles. I didn't sleep well last night. Every little cramp type feeling or pressure on my bladder made me startle and freak. I was worried about my activities and was seriously concerned. I realized I could have jeopardize our pregnancy with my over doing it. I was up 4 times last night to pee and normally I don't turn on the light, but last night I did and with each wipe I had to check the TP for blood. I didn't have cramps or any real reason to worry, just the regular twinges I get. 

The difference between myself and someone who has never struggled with infertility or pregnancy loss (we have been fortunate and have never had to deal with pregnancy loss either) is that I don't have the luxury of taking chances like I did yesterday, where as someone else, might not even worry. Even if nothing would ever happen, mentally I can't take those chances.  I feel fine today but I'll be taking it easy. I won't be running through plowed fields any more. I'm 11 1/2 weeks pregnant with twins and it is time to start remembering that. Not that I forget but sometimes, most times I don't feel pregnant. It still doesn't feel real yet. Well, I guess it doesn't seem real until I almost do something to jeopardize it!

11 Weeks today

Today we are 11 weeks pregnant. The babies are the size of limes. Makes you want a margarita doesn't it? If I Alex feels better later I'll have him take a belly pic. Some how I'm thinking the third trimester won't go as fast as my first.

PC fixed. U/S Pics are here!

First pic ... both sacks showing babies in each! The baby on the left is being "photographed" directly down on top of his/her head. You can see what we think is a hand with fingers. It could be a foot, but the location makes it seem like an arm and hand. I hope you can see it as clearly as we can, I guess we see it clearly cause when the image was "live" it was a lot less blurry than the still shot.  The baby in the lower right is facing face up and that is his/her face. (upside down). 

Okay here are both babies on one shot again. 

This next pic is of the baby that had the hiccups. (I think)

And finally, I cropped the photo that shows the face of one of the babies. I hope you can see it and not think I'm crazy. The nurses saw it and so did my brother!

  You can see the two dark spots are the eye orbits and the single dark spot (just above the bright white area) is the mouth. Pretty neat!

Comment Of the day

"I hope you don't gain too much weight I know how hard it is for you to loose it".That's nice I've tried to get pregnant for 4 1/2 years.... do you think I give a rat's arse about my weight being hard to loose? Idiot! You can probably guess who that quote is from.

With that I'm going to turn my head phones on and clean my house like a mad woman. 

Phew!

Just got back from the RE's office and the ultra sound. Boy am I relieved. Both babies are still in me! Both are doing fantastic. We got to watch them twist and turn and one had hiccups. It was amazing to watch that. AMAZING. Firstly, I had no idea they would get hiccups this early on and secondly I had no idea you could see it. 

I'm so amazed by this whole process. Truly amazed. One baby measured at 10 weeks 1 day and the other at 10 weeks 2 days. Which is right on schedule with where I'm at. I'm 9 weeks 6 days today. 

I have new u/s pics but my husband crashed the PC last night. If I can't get it going I'll go to Kinkos and Scan these u/s pics. One pic you can see both babies and it looks like the yin yang symbol. Another pic you can see fingers! It is really cool. But the greatest pic is of one of the babies' face. You can see eye orbits, nose and mouth. I am floored by the detail of it all. 

Now I'm going to fix some lunch I'm starved. I was too nervous to eat much before my appointment. 

Thanks everyone for the well wishes. I'm so thankful for all your support. 

9 weeks

I'm 9 weeks pregnant today. (assuming I'm still pregnant) Is it normal to always feel like this will be taken away or that I'm a fraud? I feel like I'm faking symptoms now. Odd. 

Anyway, today is 08/08/08. And my darling husband sent me a cute email today:

Happy 5 year, 5 month, 5 day Anniversary.

 

I love you….

TMI post and I don't care

I pooped. Yeah for me. It had been 3 days and I was so miserable. Nothing was working. Not extra water, fiber, stool softeners, even the prunes I bought and ate yesterday didn't kick in soon enough. I finally used a suppository and it was so worth it. I feel so much better. I don't even care that Jake got up at 5am screaming. Well, I care for him, but not upset for me. It gave me the chance to put him in bed with daddy while I sat on the toilet for 30 mins. They are currently watching Sesame street and evidently Elmo is a hit still!

Now that I can walk again (giggle giggle) I'm off to go take Large Marge to a herding practice about an hour from here. Jake will like the outing. He's a going out kind of kid and mom being layed up a bit is not fun in his book. Don't know what to expect. I'm just renting sheep and working her on a new field. Should be excellent learning for her. 

It's not easy being quesy

Yucko, I don't know if this is "morning sickness" but I feel yucky, like really yucky. I've been this way the past two days. I'm super tired and queasy all the time. Eating actually helps but not for very long. I have zero energy. ZERO, even worse than the fatigue I felt the first few weeks. If I wasn't pregnant, I'd say I had the flu. 

Today I craved carbs, really craved carbs, like mashed potatoes and bread and butter and all things not so good. I'm currently craving fried chicken. Greasy and salty fried chicken. I haven't had that for ages. It sounds eatable to me, most everything else, not so good. Well, sourdough bred (warm) with butter sounds good too. 

I've had headaches on and off the past week also. The headaches yesterday and today aren't too bad. No need for Tylenol. But they are annoying.

The gas is incredible. Seriously, I'm thinking of calling Guinness Book of World Records. I'm also up chucking and burping like a frat boy after a hot wings and beer consumption contest. WOW. This is outrages.

But all these glorious changes are putting me at ease. I'm anxious to have my next ultra sound. One week from tomorrow. 

This and that

Not much to blog about. I was reading over the weekend and taking it easy. I let daddy take over all the minute little details that I think sometimes, very rarely, but sometimes he takes for granted. Although I'm sure there are 1000 more things that he does for me that I take for granted. I need to really watch that. He's the best. He mentioned to me yesterday that I was on edge lately and that he feels like sometimes he has to walk on egg shells. I felt so terrible. So I'm making a huge effort to be more relaxed and kind. I guess I have been a tad on edge.

The PIO shots have definitely gotten to me. I'm so flipping sore, despite the fact that I'm on an every OTHER day schedule with the prometrium suppost on the days between shots. I have huge lumps that aren't going away very quickly, not to mention the bruise, it is now one continuous large bruise on my right hip, I must have hit a blood vessel. The constipation is making me a tad crabby also. Despite my one a day stool softener, my extra fruit and fiber diet and my water intake I'm still having a few issues with being plugged up. But these are NOT COMPLAINTS, merely observations and recording of such onto my blog. Giggle Giggle!

I am on edge though with all the changes about to take place in our lives. I know this is normal and I know you can't change normal and that I just have to deal with this anxiety, but it does put me on edge and I tend to snap when I'm on edge. Case in point, I went to Walmart on Saturday morning to pick up the new book Breaking Dawn which was released at midnight. The first clerk I spoke to didn't know anything about it. The second clerk was rude and said it was "A vendor item and probably isn't in yet". To which I snapped, "You have a sign, on your front door, that says, available Aug 2, which is today". She said back quite snappily, "I don't care what the sign says, I only know that this is a vendor item and we may not have it now". To which I replied, "Don't talk to me like that". I was shocked it came out of my mouth. I actually felt a little dizzy and I got sort of shaky. She started to explain herself again and I stopped her and said, "I heard you already. Is there someone who works here who does know if the book is available".  Luckily for her and for me an assistant manager arrived not 2 seconds later with a book and apology. Evidently they had gone through 5 boxes of the book by 8:30am and didn't realize they needed to put more out. My poor husband, I think he was afraid to walk with me in the store. 

Today I worked dogs. It was the first time I've worked my dogs in more than 2 months. It felt awesome. Jake had a blast and he was so good. Gosh I love this boy, he is so much like me when I was little. He's just an adventurer and free spirit. My sheep are so fat and the dogs and I equally as fat and unfit that we didn't do much work. I helped a lady out with her dog and now she's trying to convince me to give her lessons. I don't think I'm good enough yet. But she wants me to, badly and she has a friend who wants to come out also. I'm considering it. It would help me offset the cost of keeping my sheep and it would help me stay motivated to go out and work if I knew people were counting on me.

Other than those little tid bits. I'm boring. Hungry and tired, happy and anxious.