Away To Me

Our Last Well Baby Visit

Today the boys had their one year well baby visit. It will also be their last well baby visit. I also will be switching to a new pediatrician. I'm sure our current pediatrician thinks I'm a wacko, but she can think that if she wants. Her out dated research and narrow minded attitude is not what I need or want from a pediatrician.

My sons are not circumcised. I do not believe circumcision is necessary. I think it is ridiculous to do it for cosmetic or social reason. I have read and researched this topic at length. I have also recently read up on caring for uncircumcised penises. In case you are wondering ... you don't do much with them. And you don't let your doctor do anything to them. There is no reason to pull the foreskin back. The pediatrician today started to pull on Nathan's foreskin and I said, "Oh no, we don't pull on that" and I took her hand off my son's penis. I couldn't believe I did it. I was at first scared of what I did and then I was extremely proud of myself for stepping in and protecting my son from someone who should know better. She proceeded to tell me that my son's penis will close off if I don't start pulling his foreskin back. I think she is wrong, and I have the literature and research to prove it. Strike one against her.

Then the subject of vaccinations came up. Yes, I will vaccinate my children. I'm not sure when they will be vaccinated and I'm not sure what they will be vaccinated against at this point. The more I read, the more I'm scared to vaccinate. The research is not bonk, it's not a bunch of hipppy hype. It's really scary what the big pharmaceutical companies are willing to do to hide and or manipulate research. I do believe that vaccinations are good. The question becomes, how much, when and which ones. I'm still working on that. Still reading, learning and trying to figure it out. For now, the babies have never had any vaccinations and they are healthy with fantastic immune systems! Jake has had all his vaccinations and he too is healthy with a great immune system. Her lecture on vaccines, wasn't horrible this time, but it is still a strike against her. Strike 2!

She asked me about their nursing and eating. I explained that we are doing baby led weaning. I explained how it worked and loaned her my book to read up on it. She said, "most babies can't eat that way". I told her I disagreed. She told me she's not just a pediatrician, but she has 3 children. She went on to tell me how her 9 1/2 month old (at the time) choked on a teething biscuit. I asked her to clarify, gagging or choking? I think he was gagging, she said choking, she was there, she was a doctor so I'll have to take her at her word. I asked her if he'd been fed purees? She said "of course" so I gave her my two cents and told her that's probably why he was gagging (or choking) on the teething biscuit. She proceeded to tell me that I'm lucky my children haven't choked. Strike 3 your out! 

I had their hemoglobin levels checked. Nathan was border line and Wesley was a little low. I am now reading up on that. It surprises me because Wesley eats way more meat than Nathan. I think the nurse might have mixed up the samples but she swore she didn't. The thing that really irked me is when the nurse said, "Well they do look rather pale". I said, "my very Caucasian infants who never go in the sun are pale". My husband is Norwegian, I'm German/Welsh. Were' lucky their not blue their so white caucasian. Then she asked me if they eat paper and stuff off the floor. Well, yes, they do, like most babies. It was an extremely odd conversation.

I really don't think my babies need check ups when they are perfectly healthy, hitting milestones and not having any issues. I think I'm an intelligent enough person to figure out if there is a problem. I doubt after today's visit that I'll be jumping at the chance to do WBV or to see this pediatrician again.

It's called parenting

Today I had a lesson in parenting. Lately I've had a lot of lessons in parenting, but today's lesson just proved to me how important it is to "Parent" our children. I can not tolerate the lack of parenting in this country. Makes me ill! I also can not tolerate wasting food or wasting my time.

This morning Jake didn't want the normal breakfast options he has. So, being that it was Friday and we didn't have to rush off to school. I figured I'd make him just about anything he wanted. He said he wanted a grilled cheese sandwich. Easy enough! So I made him a fancy grilled cheese sandwich. (Basic sandwich but made in the sandwich presser thing that make it look fancy). Normally this is a hit. But after two bites this morning he decided he didn't' want it.

No problem, you can eat it later I said. Tears instantly. "But I don't like it, I don't want it". Truth be told he was mad that we told him he couldn't eat in the living room. Why this request was made by him is beyond me. We don't eat in the living room.  By 10:00 he was hungry. I told him he could eat the sandwich. More tears, more screaming, more drama. I ignored it and was doing laundry at the back of the house. I came back into the kitchen and didn't notice anything out of place. Jake was watching TV in the living room, seemed to be calmed down. Then he said, "I didn't do nothing". He he little stinker still doesn't know how to play it cool. I looked, his sandwich is gone. I asked him if he ate it. Nope, he put it in the trash and told me he put it in the trash.

I calmly told him to go get it out of the trash. That we do not throw away food. He screamed, yelled, told me no. I turned off the TV, walked him to the trash can, opened the lid and because it was a brand new trash bag and nothing in there but his sandwich, I had to pull the bag up to the top of the can. (it's an extra tall trash can, he'd never be able to reach the bottom). More tears, more screaming, but the sandwich was back on the table. I sent him to his room, told him he could come out when he was able to be nice, not cry and eat his sandwich. Many tears, screaming, an occasional thrown toy and finally about 25 minutes later he came out. Proclaimed, "I'm ready to eat my sandwich now mommy". He was smiling, happy and joking as he climbed into his seat. I asked, "how's the sandwich big guy". He said, "It's nummy, thanks mommy". I was floored. As i'm typing this, he's finishing up his "nummy" sandwich, and he's telling me he loves me. He's happy as can be. I hate when he cries and tantrums and things turn into such a wreck. It makes me rehash all that I did to see if I could have handled it better. Seeing his attitude change and watching him happily eat his sandwich just made my morning. I know he learned a good lesson. All those tears, both his and mine, were not cried for nothing!

Sick of sick

I admit it, I'm a wimp these days. It seems like I've been sick a lot in the past 3 months. I can't seem to catch a break. I never used to get sick. NEVER. Now I've had either food poisoning or the worst stomach flu ever sandwiched between two head colds.

I can't believe all this sickness is happening now that the babies are starting to sleep better. It just bums me out. And when I'm the sole provider for the kids every needs from 7am to 6pm (or later) it wears me out.

I think I need to seriously upgrade my diet, get out and exercise more and get healthier. This just doesn't feel like "me".

End of whining!

The President's Speech

This blog has been bland lately so I thought I'd throw politics in to wake things up a bit. I never have discussed politics on this blog, other than to encourage people to vote. But this subject I find important. More importantly to admit I was wrong about the President's speech to the schools.

I was completely against it. I don't care for the President's policies and I was offended at the idea that he may take his power and influence and try to push his agenda's onto to children. He obviously isn't having much luck with their parents right now.

This morning, I read his speech. Although I rolled my eyes at a few sentences, I thought it was a fantastic message to give school children. Believe me, I would have rolled my eyes at a few sentences of any other President's speech too. I think it is important that our Presidents take the time to specifically address the children of our Nation and to encourage them to work harder and do better. So I applaud President Obama for his efforts and for the execution.

Buying a short sale home

We have leased our home out and we are buying a second home. The home we are buying is being sold as a short sale. Basically a short sale is the last step that a seller has to get out of their home loan without it being a foreclosure. The sellers have to ask the bank that carries their loan if they qualify for a short sale. Then they put the house up for sale and when an offer is made and the sellers think it is a fair price, they accept the offer and present the offer to the bank. Then both the seller and the buyer have to wait for the bank to determine if the sale price is acceptable to the bank. Basically, the seller is asking the bank to forgive them of part of their loan and call it even. 

For example if Joe Homeowner owes $300,000 on his mortgage and he has lost his job and wants to get out of the home, he puts it up for sale. The market has tanked so his home is worth a lot less than he owes on it. So he gets an offer for $250,000. He then asks his bank if they'll take the $250,000 and call it done. The bank may say yes, or the bank may say, "no, we need to get at least $260,000". 

Right now we are at the stage of the sale where we are waiting on the bank to decide if our offer is an acceptable amount. The bank has conducted their appraisal of the home (back on July 10). The sellers have been approved for a short sale. But we are still waiting on the bank to okay the selling amount and the terms of the sale. Today is day 82 of this process. I knew short sales were slow and I knew that we could expect delays, but I'm loosing patience. 

Part of the reason I'm loosing patience is because of the agents, both the selling agent and our agent, either not having information, having false information or withholding information. As an example, the selling agent told us back in May that he hopes to hear back from the bank within 40 days. They didn't even appraise the house until 44 days after we were in escrow! 

Secondly, we were told there was only one loan on the place and we just found out last week that there are in fact two loans on the place. Meaning the sellers had a first mortgage and either a second or a line of credit. Which means there are more hoops to jump through in order to get bank approval. 

Thirdly our agent asked which bank we were dealing with. Now I'm not sure if she didn't tell us or if she wasn't told or dropped the ball or what. I do know she specifically asked if this sale was through BofA. I suppose I should have gotten on the ball and pressed for an answer, but I didn't. Sure enough, it's a BofA sale. BofA is the worst when it comes to short sales taking time. They have investors that basically buy debt. (Not exactly sure how that works) but each short sale has to be run through this group of investors or something like that. Frankly, I'm not sure I believe any of this stuff. 

Honestly, I can't remember the house inside. I drive by it at least twice a week. We have asked to see it again and we were told we'd have to wait till after the 20th of this month when the sellers move out. We are worried about them moving out because they are turning off the utilities. So unless the selling agent pays for the water and power to stay on, the landscaping will dry up and unless they pay for pool maintenance, then the pool will also go to heck. 

While this rental is really cute and has everything we need (it's fully furnished). I want my own things and my own home. I want my babies to have their real cribs, not the pack n plays. I want my king size bed back. I want a yard with a fence around the pool so that I can send Jake and the dogs out to play. 

I realize it could be so much worse and that we are extremely fortunate, but I'm hitting my limit now.

Are you drunk, dumb or both?

Dear twit who called about my ad on Sitter City,

Are you dumb, drunk or both? Why on earth would you call a potential employer about a baby sitting job at 11:15 at night? You even left a message asking me to call you back. Really? You want me to call you back? How about I call you back at 3am when the boys are up nursing. Would that work for you? It might actually as you are probably up nursing your crack habit. 

I think it's safe to say you wont' be getting our sitting job. 

Signed, 

Tired-angry-can't believe-how-stupid-people-are-Mom

PS: If you are friends with the lady that interviewed for the job in person on Thursday who told me my 5mo old is manipulating and controlling me because he is afraid of strangers, tell her she doesn't have the job either. 

Wonderful

It is looking more and more like we will have to move again prior to moving into the house we are in escrow on. (or any other home we are planning to purchase). 

The selling bank/owners/agents, still haven't had the home appraised. It might have been done yesterday, but more than likely it will be done today. This should have been done over a month ago. The owners of this place, want it back on Oct 1.

I am so pissed. I really don't want to move from this rental, to another rental until we can get into our HOME. I don't even care at this point which home it is. This is so ridiculous. I don't know if I have the patience to purchase a short sale. Not with infant twins and a 3yo. I want to be settled in my own home. 

I suck.

Okay, warning. This is a pitty party post. A pitty post where I use the word suck way too many times. I know how very fortunate I am, so please no lectures. Sometimes no matter how good you have it, you still have bad days and you need to vent. This is a place for me to vent. So here goes!

I suck. 

I suck at dieting. I suck at being a wife right now and today I seriously felt like I sucked as a mother. Jake spent a good deal of the day in his room. I was unable to help Nathan so I just let him cry at more than one point today. I truly sucked as a mom today. 

Packing sucks and I'm sucky at it. My house is pure chaos right now and it puts me on edge. I don't like total chaos. Organize chaos yes, mass chaos, no. This is how my husband packs a room.

It looks a lot better now, but that was how it looked Sunday and I can't stand it. I hate seeing stuff lying around like that. I know he was going through stuff and packing, but I can't stand it. So I just shut the door and let him figure out that room. 

The pool room is storage central right now. All the boxes are being stacked in there and all the donate stuff goes in there too. The entire pool table is stuff being sent off for donation.

The only thing saving my sanity is my clean kitchen and bathrooms. And of course the random smile from anyone of the three boys is appreciated. Today Wesley seems to be the one keeping me together. 

 My eating went down hill today. I won't even discuss it. Needless to say that makes me feel sucky. I didn't even tweet about my meals today like I have been. But I'm going to get back on track tonight and stay on track tomorrow. I also have an appointment at the chiropractor tomorrow for myself and for Nathan. I hope he can help Nathan. Something has got to give with this kid. I swear today if he wasn't sleeping he was screaming at me. I love him dearly, but I am thankful when he's resting. The past 48 hours with him has been rough. Can't quiet pin point what is up. It's not reflux or colic or gas. He just is volatile. He can be so happy and adorable and then you change his position and he looks at you like you've done the most awful thing ever! And it's not like a pained expression, it's pissed off. He's tough that's for sure. 

Jake has also been tough. I don't think he understands moving. But he loves the chaos the house is in. The moment I'm on the phone or in another room, typical 3yo curiosity gets the best of him and he's destroying something. However, I must say the cutest thing in the world is when I'm packing up a cabinet and Jake walks by and says, "wow mom, great job". He is dead serious too. Cracks me up.

In other sucky news. The situation with MIL blew up. The relationship seems to be over for now. Hubby is upset but feels like he's done the best he can to help her and if she can't see his side than she can't be around us. I know it hurts him. And I feel like I suck as a wife because although he hurts over this situation, I'm so relieved to not be around her.

Moving sucks. I know I should be grateful that we can afford to move and that hubby has a job that we can move closer to. But truth be told, I don't want to move. I don't want to be yet another hour farther from everyone I know. (except one person). It sucks. I'm feeling isolated enough where I am. Moving another hour and 15 minutes is going to make it that much worse. 

It also sucks that we are moving into a rental for 2 or 3 months. Although, it is a rocking little rental. I love the place and I'm trying to think of it as a vacation casa. But I want my bed and my things and I won't be able to have my bed or things for 2 or 3 months. And, that's the minimum amount of time. If the bank doesn't approve the offer on the house we have in escrow, it could be a heck of a lot longer and we can't stay in this rental past Sept 30. So we would be moving yet again! That would really suck.

Oh you know what else sucks, I didn't get the birth announcements out in the mail because I want to get a PO Box first. Because we won't even be at this house in 18 days and I might as well give everyone a "were' moving" heads up at the same time I send the birth announcements. Right? But hubby has been too busy to get a PO Box. So it looks like I may have to drive the hour drive and drag the babies to the Post office to get a PO Box. He's got meetings all this week. In his defense, he did go last week, but they needed two forms of ID (specifically a utility bill with an address on it). 

Okay, that's my vent. Sorry I suck at posting on the blog lately. In my non sleeping hours (which is about 20 hours out of every 24) I come up with some great blog posts, just don't have the free hands to type them.

Little To No Patience

You know, some people suck. Some people will never realize how incredibly lucky they are. And I get so sick of hearing them whine. Sure we all have bad days bad times in our lives, that is when we are justified in our whines. But when you are whining about having to "wake up twice a night" to feed your two month old baby. Get over yourself. Do you know how many people would give just about anything to have a baby of their own to "wake up twice a night" to feed?

Things like that drive me nuts. I have friends who have lost a baby girl from SIDS, another friend who just had her second miscarriage and other friends struggling to save their foster kids from going back into terrible situations and other friends waiting to adopt their foster children with road block after road block in front of them. I have another friend who has had to put her adoption plans on hold due to her husband being layed off. And the list goes on.

So please forgive me if I refuse to jump on the sympathy band wagon.  I have little to no patience for your attitude. Put yourself in the shoes of a grieving mother who lost her 4 month old baby and you'll wish you could wake up 10 times a night with your baby.

The difference

The difference between mommies and daddies of newborn twins and an almost 3-yo:

Daddies think using the restroom is a right.

Mommies think using the restroom is a luxury. 

But I'm not bitter.